Decisions of Love
by Garnet Hikari
Summary: Yuki has always loved Soujiroh. Soujiroh sees her only as a friend,doesn't he? One last broken promise shatters everything. Is the red string strong enough to tie the pieces back together or will the fragile string break? Can fate be denied? Can love?
1. Homecoming Chapter 1

Nishikado-san/Yuki-chan_Hana Yori Dango has got to be one of my favorite stories. I love the coupling of Solijiro x Yuki. I hate that they don't really have an ending, so here is one take of their story in my imagination. There is another story in progress as well that takes place after the movie, if this gets good feedback I may post it. I will also be loading this up on my livejournal account (probably more frequently than here). Please be kind, I can take critics but don't be out right mean. That's my only request. Enjoy and comment! _

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**Decisions of Love**

**by**

**Garnet Hikari**

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**Chapter 1**

Yuki pushed the curtain to the side to stare out of the window. She was looking at nothing in particular, just lost in her own thoughts. She had been lonely with Makino gone, but she was happy that her friend had found a place in this world. Loving and to be love was usually the ultimate dream of any girl. But if the love was one sided, with no future, where did that lead to? What if you were stuck inside some sort of sick limbo? There was no end in sight? Just you continuously hope that one day the other person will turn around, look at you, and finally realize the one thing they had been missing and, the only thing he need was you. But in her heart Yuki knew that would not happen. So she simply stayed in this place of in between, dreaming of something more.

Looking at her cell phone, she knew that the call that she wanted the most would never come. If it did that there wouldn't be any meaning behind it. Soujiro the love and hate of her simple life was just like that.

As if reading her thoughts her cell phone suddenly buzzed with the warning of a new text message. It was soujiroh. Staring at the blinking phone, she wondered what he would do if she simply ignored the message. The thoughts of him even slightly caring, if she didn't respond, only lasted a few minutes at the most. The habit was too ingrained, and she found herself flipping open the cell phone to read the message._ Going to the airport to meet D and M. Need a lift?_

Yuki smiled to herself.... If she said yes would Soulijiro let her ride on the back of his bike? Would he finally acknowledge that she was special and worthy of the place that had been saved for Sarah? _Will you pick me up on the bike?_ She knew it wouldn't happen, but she still had to try.

The reply only took a few minutes to come through. _No…I'll send a car._

Yuki sighed in disappointment; she knew that she would probably never be the one. She didn't want to seem too desperate, so she decided to call someone else for a ride.

She picked up her cell phone _no, that's ok I'll meet you all there_ Yuki sighed again and got up to get ready.

*****  
soujiroh opened his cell phone to read the message on the screen. He knew that she would ask that, she always did. His Yuki-chan was cute that way. No…I'll send a car.

He read the reply _no, that's ok I'll meet you all there_ and closed his to himself; he put the phone in his pocket and the helmet on his head.

He had thought that Yuki-chan would ask him to pick hefr up, and was surprised with her response. He laughed to himself at her never ending quest to sit on the back of the bike. He didn't know why he kept saying no. His friend's impression that it was reserved for that 'special' someone was not true. He just liked to ride by himself. What was the harm or bigger meaning in that? He enjoyed the cat and mouse that he and Yuki-chan shared over the bickering of the bike. He was alone with her a lot, which he didn't want to think too much about. She was a good friend, he wouldn't ever think of her in the way she wanted him to. He just wasn't any good with girls like that.

Kick starting the bike, a wide grin spread across his face as he headed to the airport. He would more than likely be the first person to arrive, or at least have a little time to window shop; a couple of flight attendants on tonight's menu may prove to be very entertaining....

************

"Hayashi-san, I would really appreciate it. Mmmm bye." Yuki hung up the phone, and walked out of her room. Her home was silent as always, but it was something that she was so used to, it didn't bother her in the slightest. Glancing at her watch she knew that she still had a little time before Hayashi-san came to get her.

Yuki walked out the mail box and skimmed through the mail. Her hand stopped, and singled out a seemingly innocent white envelope. It was deceptively plain looking, but the contents of this envelope held Yuki's future. She had been anticipating and dreading this moment for weeks now. It had been torture waiting for this envelope to come. In this envelope was a step she had taken to the future, one she hadn't told anyone about. Staring at the letter, she knew that she just wasn't brave enough to read the contents right now. Walking inside she laid it on the desk, and just stared at it until she heard the doorbell ring.

"Coming…." Turning she grabbed her coat, and ran outside to meet Hayashi-san.

******

Soujiroh smiled at the attendant in front of him. She was pretty enough, and would do for the night. He made an off handed remark, when a familiar head of hair caught his eye. He glanced behind the attendant as she giggled. Surely he had to be seeing things. Squinting he looked again at the entrance to the airport. Yuki-chan was at the entrance and was that a man or rather boy that Yuki-chan was talking to? Impossible he thought to himself. Was that who she got the ride from? Curiosity and something close to annoyance started well up inside him. He tried to look away, but found that he couldn't. He heard the attendant droning on about something, and he smiled in response, but his attention was far away from the silly girl in front of him. For some reason all he could focus on was the fact that Yuki-chan was still talking to that boy. It was really none of his business and he would keep telling himself that until it was true. What could be so important that the conversation lasted this long?! He didn't know, but he intended to find out.

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She knew that Nishikado-san would have found someone at the airport, probably an attendant to spend time with. So she decided not look for him, it would only increase the ache. So she listened as Hayashi-san told her about the college he was going to be attending. Hayashi-san was a good friend, but he could never anything more. There was only room in her heart for one person.

"That's wonderful Hayashi-san," she said as smiling, "I know that you will make a wonderful doctor. Specializing in children really suits you. You are kind."

"Have you decided where you are going to attend yet? Didn't you get accepted to a couple of different places?" Hayashi smiled at the sweet girl in front of him. He knew that there was someone she had in her heart already, but he wished it was him. He reached out his hand and placed it on her shoulder.

"Not yet. There has been a lot that has been going on, and well I haven't made a final decision yet. I know that my time is running out though." In some ways more than others Yuki thought.

Soujiroh watched as the two conversed, resisted the urge to walk over to them, and end their conversation. He had no right to, other than being her friend. But that was all forgotten the moment boy reached out and placed a hand on Yuki-chan's shoulder. He found himself walking away from the lovely attendant, and taking long strides toward Yuki-chan.

What the hell?! What right did that guy have to put his hand on her? Soujiroh's angry thoughts clouded his mind. His hand balled into a fist as he got closer. At that moment Yuki-chan finally looked his way, and she backed up a step so the boy's hand fell back to his side. Yuki-chan's decision at that moment probably saved the boy from a broken nose.

Yuki felt Soujiroh's presence before she saw him. Glancing to the side, she saw the anger written all over his face. Unconsciously she took a step back, so she was no longer in contact with Hayashi-san. She didn't know why Soujiroh looked so angry; Hayashi-san was just a friend. But she knew that would be the reason for his anger. He wouldn't care one way or another who she was talking to. It had to be something else. Looking at her watch she realized that they were going to be late. That was probably the reason he was irritated. She watched as he took the final steps toward her, and turned back to Hayashi-san.

"I have to be going. Thank you so much for the ride." Yuki bowed in thanks, as she felt Soujiroh's arm slip around her shoulders. She straightened back up, and looked at Soljiro with slight irritation. She sighed as she tried to step away from him, only feel his grip tighten, " Nishikado-san ….." she whispered through clenched teeth.

Soujiroh ignored Yuki-chan's sigh. He tightened his grip as she struggled to get free. It was best he let this boy know where Yuki stood in the F4 group. He stared straight at the boy in front of him, "Ahhh I see you've brought my Yuki-chan safely to the airport for me. Thank you."

Yuki looked from one to another, not understanding the sudden tension she felt in the air. But she stopped trying to get away, "Hayashi-san this is Nishikado-san. He is here to greet Tsukasa-san and Makino as well."

Hayashi didn't need the introduction; he knew who was standing in front of him glaring. The famous heir of the tea ceremony school was the main character of many tales. He was one of the famous F4. He had often wondered why Matsuoka-chan had taken up tea ceremony class, going diligently every week, and now the answer was standing front of him. He knew that her friend had married one of the famous F4, but what he hadn't known was that she was close with the others as well. He had noticed the informal way Nishikado-san had addressed Matsuoka-chan. "Pleasure to meet you Nishikado-san," he bowed in polite greeting.

"Pleasure….Yuki-chan we have to go or we'll be late. There's Akira. Please excuse us." Turning he walked away, his arm still around Yuki, he headed toward Akira. He was still irritated. He saw the forgotten attendant from the corner of his eye, but made no attempt to stop. He would find someone else later. There was no way he was letting Yuki-cfhan get away.

"Why were you talking to him for so long?" He attempted to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"We were just discussing some things."

Yuki smiled as they met up with Akira and Rui. The two smiled back and silently fell into step with them. She could have sworn a look passed between the three, but she was sure she was mistaken. "He's going to be a doctor," she said to Soujiroh, "and he was telling me his area of studies. You can let me go now Nishikado-san."

"Maybe I like having my arm around you. It keeps all those girls away." Soujiroh gave Yuki a wink and a smile. "You can't run away from me that easily, Yuki-chan."

Yuki felt the blush from the tip of her hair to the tip of her toes. She couldn't say anything. It was like he was declaring she was his girl. So she just kept her head bowed, and continued to walk. They were almost to the terminal anyway.

She finally saw the private jet landing, and they walked out on the runway to meet it. She smiled as she saw a bickering Domoyiji and Makino getting off the plane. She knew that it was just their form of communication, and like the other three thought nothing of it. Her smile grew wider when Makino saw her, and ran down the steps of the jet. Her friend ran straight by the other three, and gave Yuki a hug. Yuki hadn't realized how much she missed her friend until the tears started running down her face. She closed her eyes, and sent thanks to whoever was listening that Makino had returned safely.

She heard the F4 group giving claps and knew that they were greeting each other as well. She and Makino started walking arms linked to the limo. They had a lot to catch up on before the party tonight. She listened whole hearted as Makino started telling her of all the things they had done on her honeymoon.

The girl talk lasted until they reached Yuki's house, she told Makino bye, and went inside to start getting ready for the party. As she walked in the little white envelope stared at her from the desk. She didn't want to open it yet….not yet.

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**A/N: **I debated on adding this to the story, but I wanted to you all to know that your reviews mean alot to me, so I decided to reply to it. There has been a review to this story, and it brought up some concerns.. So I just wanted to write a litte to address them.

The spelling of the names:I am having my beta check out chapter 1 after I re-edit it. It was before I found her wonderful capabilities. ^_^ I have changed the names though as well in this chapter, it will be Soujiroh (there are so many spellings in so many places that I chose the one that is on the DVD release after consulting with my HYD experts lol)and will be consistant with the rest of the story. Thanks for letting me know.

The back of the bike:Also something that bothered me that I wanted to point out. In S2 HYD it was stated by the sweet shop owner in the explanation that the seat was reserved for someone special (back of the bike)..It was further solidified when he offered to take Sara for a ride. But it never mentions directly that he ever considers or thinks of it that way, it is merely implied. I actually consulted with some people on this as well to make sure that I wasn't misinterpreting something. ^_^

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!  
Garnet


	2. Party Time Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Yuki walked into the ballroom, carefully navigating down the steps in her new high heels. Her eyes scanned the crowd for any familiar faces. She saw Makino and Domyouji walking arm in arm greeting the guests. Makino was making the best of it, only Yuki noticed the forced smile on her face as she met each person one by one. Domyouji was being his usual self, extremely boastful and silly to a point. Although, watching them, it did warm her heart that he was so proud of Makino. She was definitely his princess. Never in a million years had she imagined that her best friend would be marrying into Japanese high society and making friends with the other three princes.

Making her way through the crowd, she headed for a corner where she could watch from. She would find Makino later when all of her duties were completed for the Domyouji family. She picked up a glass of champagne being offered to her by one of the passing waiters and found a spot.

Glancing through the crowd, she found Akira talking to some stern looking gentlemen. As he smiled it was hard for her to believe that he was actually from a Yakuza family. He was very much the peace maker/problem solver of the group. He had a kind heart, even if his tastes did run to married women. After meeting his mother, she couldn't really say that she blamed him for going to the extreme opposite.

Next, she found Rui. He was leaning against a wall; with his hand in one pocket, a glass of champagne in the other and he was watching the crowd as she was. As she took a sip of champagne, she wondered how he had managed to do it. Giving up someone you loved had to be hard enough, but to hand your love over to your best friend, knowing you would probably continue to see her happy with someone else for the rest of your life…was well…something so rare, you could only imagine his pain. Wars of old had been started for less. She admired his ability to simply be happy because the one he loved was happy. He was so quiet and reserved; she wondered what the sacrifice had really cost him.

Yuki turned her head in the direction of female laughter. She didn't need to guess who she would find in the middle of the circle, Soujiroh. How she loved that man. He was kind and caring underneath that playboy façade that he put up for everyone to see. Only a caring man would have stopped the car that day when she had been crying on the corner. He had even gone as far as to threaten that ex of hers out of his wits simply because he had hurt her.

"If you ever make my girl cry again…," he had said and at that moment she fell for Soujiroh…hard.

But then the mistake she had made in her blind enthusiasm had happened. She sometimes wondered if that mistake had created the wall between her and Soujiroh that she couldn't seem to get past. He had asked a simple question that long ago Valentine's Day, and truthfully she had just given him an honest answer. But had she really been honest? Maybe a part of her had been fearful that if she told him that yes a girl might confess that way, he would have walked away from her and not looked back. When she had learned of her mistake, the guilt she had felt had been so intense. Her quest to find the sign had become an obsession with her, one that she had saw through till the end. When she had finally showed him what was meant for him so long ago, she could only stand next to him as the tears had streamed down his face. Her heart broke with every tear that fell. It was her fault; she had hurt two people without realizing it. Her thoughtless reply had caused him so much pain. To this day thinking about it made her ashamed.

She had stayed away from him for awhile after that. She hadn't called or bothered to seek him out. She had never told a soul what had happened on that rooftop. It hadn't been her place to. She had never told Nishikado-san she had known Sara had been engaged to be married. No…..sometimes things are better left unsaid. She was sure that Nishikado-san had found out, but they never brought the incident up again. And like a true gentlemen he had never acted like he harbored any hard feelings towards her, but sometimes she wondered if that was the way he really felt.

Yuki shook her head to clear the thoughts of the past. She couldn't change what happened, but only move forward and maybe one day she would truly forgive herself completely. She looked back in Nishikado-san's direction. That man could charm the devil if she was female. But there must have been a few repeat companions there because, as she watched, Nishikado-san started to look decidedly uncomfortable in the middle. She couldn't hear what was going on, but it looked as if two of the women had started arguing and the others were starting to follow suit. Yuki smirked, served him right for burning the candle at both ends. Curiosity got the better of her and she left the safety of the wall to head in his direction. She just had to see what was happening.

As she approached, Yuki heard, "NO! Nishikado-san is with me tonight!! You leave him alone…" She saw the woman in question grab hold of Soujiroh's arm as the other woman grabbed the other.

"NO! He's with me! Aren't you a little old for him grandma? I can think of better things to do with him than giving him knitting lessons! Why don't you go find your grandchildren?" She yelled.

Yuki put a hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle that threatened to escape at Soujiroh's predicament. It was just too funny and Soujiroh was looking more and more uncomfortable as he tried to smooth things over with the ladies. She could tell that it was going to be an epic failure and soon an all out cat fight was going to erupt. She watched as the women started pulling on Soujiroh. One to the left, one to the right, and people were starting to stare. This was Makino and Domyouji's welcome home party for goodness sake! She was starting to get a little angry. She had never thought that top elitist school would turn out such…well witches. This time it was her turn to rescue Nishikado-san.

Boldness born out of anger spurred her forward into the growing mess.

"Nishikado-san there you are, I'm sorry I'm so late. I have been looking for you forever!" Yuki walked right up to him and kissed him on the cheek. She fought the urge to blush, looked into his eyes. "Have you been waiting long?"

Soujiroh looked at Yuki with a mixture of shock and relief. Shock that shy Yuki had come into this madness and kissed him on the cheek

and well relief because look at the mess he was in.

"Even a minute is too long away from you, I missed you every second. It seemed like an eternity for you to get here. Shall we go?" He tried to pull his arms out of the deadlock the girls had them in, but they wouldn't budge. They were holding on for all they were worth and he had made it a rule never to mistreat a girl, even if the girls in question were starting to piss him off. He had no idea of what to do next.

Yuki saw that the girls weren't going to release Soujiroh, and decided it was time to pull rank. She stood tall and proud in front of the beautiful women in front of her and made her claim. Looking at each one in the eye, she glared a little as she said, "I'm sorry for the confusion ladies. I was detained by business matters and arrived late," it was only a small lie, "I am sure you being _ladies_ understand." She walked up to Soujiroh and started to remove the grip the girls had on each sleeve.

One of the girls looked quite shocked and sputtered, "I don't know who you are, but you just can't come in here and…."

Yuki turned her full glare on the unsuspecting girl. Now she was getting pissed. This was her best friend's party and she wasn't about to let some wanna-be Soujiroh conquest ruin it for Makino.

"Oh I can and I am. Now please release my date." She saw the girls confusion go to anger and she started to say something. Before she could, Yuki held up her hand for silence. "Oh…you don't want to go there. Our best friends just got married and this is their party. I'm not going to let you ruin it with your theatrics and tantrums. Do you even remember who you are manhandling? Who he's friends with? Are you stupid?"

Yuki saw the moment reality set in for the two girls and a look of fear crossed their faces as they looked up at Soujiroh. He was annoyed and it was showing. They slowly released his arms, taking a step back. Both girls whispered, "I'm sorry," with heads bowed.

Soujiroh walked the few steps to Yuki. He put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. He felt all the bravado she had mustered rush out of her, her whole body shaking. He looked down at her with admiration. It had taken a lot for her to stand up to those girls. He was flattered because she had done it for him, because he was her friend. She was extremely loyal to those who held such a title and he was grateful he fell into that category.

He didn't acknowledge the apology but rather apologized to Yuki, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, about that piece of unpleasantness. But now my night can truly begin since my favorite girl is here. Let's go find Domyouji and Tsukushi. Hmmm I'm going to have to re-think how I'm going to address her," he said with a wink. Without looking back he walked away from girls, arm still around Yuki and lost himself in the crowd.

Yuki stopped walking once they were out of sight and looked up at Nishikado-san, "I'm sorry Nishikado-san. I didn't mean to interfere, but I was upset that they were causing a scene."

"Yuki-chan, there's nothing to be sorry for. Those girls were getting very….annoying."

"But now everyone will think that we came together and I've probably ruined your night." She felt slightly guilty because she had probably just cost him his companionship for the night. All of her confidence born of anger had been used up in the mess they had just left.

"Bull….I mean don't worry about it. You didn't ruin anything. What's wrong with everyone thinking that I came with the most beautiful girl here?" Soujiroh watched the blush stain Yuki's cheeks at the compliment. He just loved it when she did that. But a frown crossed his face as a random thought came to mind. "Unless of course you brought or are meeting someone here."

Yuki shook her head adamantly back and forth. "NO!" Yuki turned a deeper shade of red at her outburst. "I mean no there's no one. The only people I know are you, Mimasaka-san, Hanazawa-san, Tsukasa-san , and Tsukushi-chan of course."

"Then it's settled. You are my date for the evening. It's a relief being here with you. Now, I'll be the envy of every male in the room." He winked at her and then placed his hand over hers. He started to walk forward with Yuki, arms linked. She had her hand resting on his forearm and his hand was covering hers.

They found Rui first; he looked at Soujiroh's arm and raised an eyebrow in question. Soujiroh ignored that question and instead greeted Rui. "Yo"

Rui responded with a quiet, "Yo" and a small salute.

Soon Akira found his way to the couch as well. Yuki danced with each of them in turn, starting with Soujiroh of course. When she returned from the floor after a second dance with Soujiroh, she found Makino and Domyouji waiting for them. She hugged Makino, telling her how much she admired her dress. They both sat on the couch and started to catch up some more. As her and Makino's conversation went on, Yuki happed to glance at Soujiroh and the men surrounding him. It was quite breath-taking to see the famous F4 together; they were such a tight knit group. Here she was right in the middle of them and they made her feel welcome. Even though she had started out as simply Makino's friend, she truly felt that she was accepted as a part of their small family. She felt good and was thankful for that. She decided that it was nice to be surrounded by people who truly cared for each other.

She turned her attention back to Makino and listened to her tell the story about how she had visited the University campus. Yuki pasted a smile on her face…this wasn't something she wanted to think about right now. She pushed the thoughts of her own future out of her mind. She focused on Makino telling her that Domyouji was going to build a F4 lounge at the college because she couldn't stand the high school. Yuki smiled in response.

*********

The welcome back party was finally winding down and Yuki was getting sleepy. She had made sure not to drink too much, but she had gotten up early and it was finally catching up with her. She turned and sat down on the couch. She wanted to stay awake; she should really get home…but her eyes just wouldn't stay open and slowly started to close.

Soujiroh watched as Yuki-chan's eyelids fell. She tried valiantly to keep them open, but it was obvious she was about to lose the battle. He chuckled to himself as he walked over to her with a drink in his hand. He didn't want anyone to wake her; at least that's what he told himself as he sat next to her. He took his hand and placed it on her head to lay a sleeping Yuki on his shoulder. Now, he knew that no one would wake her. He put a finger up to his lips as Akira approached him. "Ssshhhh…Yuki-chan is sleeping."

About an hour later, Soujiroh decided it was time to make his exit. He looked at his sleeping companion. Somehow it felt very comfortable and right to have Yuki sleeping next to him, with him watching over her protectively. But he knew that all good things must end and he didn't want to dwell on things that didn't matter in the first place. He began softly calling her name.

"Yuki-chan, wake up. I'll take you home….."

Yuki heard the voice that always haunted her dreams and tried to break through the layers of fog, but they just kept pulling her under. Just five more minutes… she just needed five more minutes then she would get up.

"Yuuuukkiii-chan….wake up." Soujiroh laughed at the frown on Yuki's face. "It's time to go."

"Five more minutes…I'll get up then. It's too early….."

He laughed again at the disgruntled look on Yuki's face; it was just too cute. Sighing, he decided there was just no way around it; he was going to have to carry her to the car. He couldn't just leave her here on the couch. Who knew what would happen to her?

Putting down his glass, he gently laid Yuki-chan's head against the back of the sofa. He went to get his coat and said his goodbyes, assuring a stern looking Makino that he would take Yuki home. No funny business. Glancing at his watch, he wondered if it was too late to find some company tonight. He headed back to the couch shrugging on his coat as went.

Yuki was still sleeping as Soujiroh bent down and picked her up off the couch. A few heads turned and there were some quiet whispers that he ignored as he walked out of the house with a sleeping Yuki-chan in his arms.

Yuki woke while being carried to the car. When reality finally set in, she nearly fell out of the arms that held her. Her face turned a bright crimson, letting out a gasp of surprise she yelled,"Nishikado-san!"

"Ah I see that you are finally awake. Don't wiggle too much," Soujiroh said with a wink and a smile. "Or the ride home could be very interesting...."

"What are you talking about? And why are you carrying me?" Yuki mustered up as much outrage as she could and stamped down the silent thrill that she had at being carried by Nishikado-san. "Please put me down...."

"Well in my defense, I did try to wake you up, but you didn't. So rather than leave you asleep on the couch, I figured that this was the best way to get you home."

Yuki fought the blush that was working its way up her neck. She felt her face getting hot. She was so angry at the part of herself that did that. Why did things always happen this way? The only time she was flustered was around Soujiroh.

He put her down gently; making sure her balance was alright before letting her go. She looked at her shoes; she didn't want to see his face right now. She ran her hands over her skirt and murmured,"Thanks." Her normal mantra repeated itself over and over again in her head, breathe... just breathe.

Soujiroh smiled, it hadn't passed his notice that Yuki-chan's skirt had suddenly absorbed all of her attention. He found his eyes followed the path of her hands, up and down, and up and down... he found himself thinking about the legs that were hidden under that skirt and slapped himself mentally just as quickly. She was Yuki...devilish thoughts were _not_ allowed. Instead he lifted his gaze to her face, thoroughly enjoying the blush that was staining her cheeks. He watched as she slid into the car and then got in after her.

"So straight home. I promised Makino."

Yuki glanced at him, "That's fine. I have some stuff to sort out anyway."

"What kind of stuff? Anything I can help you with?"

Yuki looked away concentrating on the passing scenery. She thought for a moment and then decided that she just wasn't ready to share. "No, it's nothing…. Just some paperwork to sort through. I have to pick a university to go to soon."

"Very true. I know that Makino will be following Domyouji to the same university to continue her law studies. But you haven't decided yet?"

"No, not really. I have a couple of places and things that I'm also considering…" She turned back to Soujiroh giving him a half hearted smile not finishing her sentence.

"Considering?" Soujiroh raised an eyebrow in question. When Yuki didn't reply he figured that he wasn't going to get an answer; he decided not to press; if she wanted to tell she would. "Maybe I should just get you into the same university as us. That way we could all be together and I would see you everyday..." Soujiroh was shocked at himself as the words left his mouth. He knew that what he had said left a lot to interpretation. He quickly tried to back track. "But you know it may be a distraction for Makino as well. And there are plenty of good universities here in Japan"

Soujiroh felt like a jerk as the lie left his lips. He was so stupid. Of course the university they all attended was the best of the best. Only the best was expected for all royalty of Japan.

Yuki stared at Soujiroh. Her heart broke a little more as he gave a tiny ray of hope and then crushed it. Would it always be like this? "Yes, there are plenty of good universities here."

Yuki back the tears. She silently watched as the night scenery blurred by. Finally, after a few more minutes of awkward atmosphere, they arrived at her house. She gave a sigh of relief and looked at Soujiroh. "Well, we're here. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you for seeing me safely home. Goodnight, Nishikado-san." Yuki opened the door, gave a polite bow, closed it and hurried into the house.

Soujiroh watched as Yuki's retreating back went inside the house. He signaled the driver to leave and then sat back. Slumping his head against the back of the seat, he wondered why he felt like he had botched something up that was important. He had a nagging feeling that he had missed something, but didn't know what. Why did he feel like something was changing? He couldn't put his finger on it, but he had an ominous feeling.

Shaking his head, he shoved the grim thoughts out his head and he wrote it off as his imagination. Looking at the driver in the rearview mirror he instructed him to take him to his favorite club. The night was still young. He still had plenty of time.

Soujiroh didn't know how mistaken he was.


	3. Only Fooling Myself Chapter 3 part A

_***First I just wanted to give a HUGE thank you to my beta DragonFire10. ::HUGS:: You're the best hun! She's so busy but still takes time to help me out. If you haven't read "Truly Madly Deeply or Everything", what are you waiting for? Go and read them! Raven is really talented, and will totally satisfy your need for some yummy SxY. If you still need more try out TrintiyLayne's "Full Circle", she's awesome as well! (Make sure to leave some comments to keep the goodness coming, and to visit their livejournal accounts!)Secondly I borrowed a wonderful friend's idea and am going to name chapters after songs that I think best represent the chapter. I will post the song in full at the front or end of the chapter on my Livejournal account. Lastly the chapters are taking a bit longer due to school. I'm fully convinced my professors are out to get me. ^_~ Thanks for all your support make sure to comment! And so now on with the show....****_

_**Song: Only Fooling Myself by Kate Voegele**_

Yuki woke up to the sounds of the birds chirping outside and the sun streaming in her window. Stretching her arms above her head, she let out a huge groan. She had to get up. She needed to work at the Dango Shop today. She gave a huge sigh, swung her legs over the side and stood up. It was time to start her day.

After she completed her normal morning routine, she sat herself down to breakfast. Across the room she saw the white envelop sitting on the desk. She wasn't sure if she was brave enough yet to open it yet, but she knew that she would have to eventually. She ate the rest of her breakfast, staring at the envelope.

Walking into the Dango Shop she noticed how lonely it was without Makino there. She set up the pastries, wiped down the counters and walked through the doors with the flags in her hands. The wind was blowing outside and Yuki was struggling to put the flags in the proper position. She lost her balance; as she was bracing herself for impact she felt two strong hands steady her from behind. Startled she turned to find Hayashi-san standing behind her.

"Konichiwa, Matsuoka-san"

"Konichiwa. What are you doing here?"

Hayashi-san held open the door for Yuki to walk through. "I just happened to be in the neighborhood and saw you putting up the flags. I wanted to stop by and say hi."

Yuki smiled as she took her place behind the counter. "Thank you for your help. I know I would have fallen if you hadn't caught me."

"It was my pleasure. It looks like you have some wonderful things here. Have you worked here long?"

"Since the beginning of high school. It's just a small part time job, but I love it."

"Well it seems to suit you. You seem very happy." Hayashi looked around the shop in interest. "What would you suggest for me?"

Yuki came around the counter. "Well that depends on what you're looking for. Sweet or tart?"

"Sweet. I definitely love things that are sweet."

*******

Soujiroh tapped his foot in impatience. It's not that he didn't love Akira's sisters, it was just sometimes simply too much. He had watched them grow up in their frilly dresses, throwing temper tantrums and whining in general. It never ceased to amaze him that they had Akira completely wrapped around their finger.

"Pleeeeaaasssseeee Akira-kun! We promise to behave. Cross our hearts," the twins chimed in perfect unison. "We just want one cake, please."

"Why don't you help mother make one? I have plans."

"But Matsuoka-san's cakes are way better! Please Onii-san." The twins stuck their bottom lips out, crossed their arms and put on their best pout.

Akira let out sigh; he knew he had lost the battle. "Fine, I will bring you back _one _cake. Now give me a hug, I have to be going, Soujiroh has been waiting long enough."

Soujiroh chuckled as he walked out with Akira. "So, I take it we're stopping by Yuki-chan's shop today?"

Akira nodded his head. "Yeah, sorry about that. But what can a big brother do?"

"Apparently go and buy a cake," Soujiroh chuckled as he slid into the passenger's seat.

The ride to the Dango Shop was short. Akira and Soujiroh got out of the car and walked toward the shop. Soujiroh's phone had started ring. Flipping open the phone to answer he looked into the windows of the Dango Shop. He saw Yuki standing entirely too close to a boy that he immediately recognized. Ignoring whoever was on the phone, he closed it. Forcing a smile on his face he went into the shop, Akira on his heels.

"Welc… Nishikado-san, Mimasaka-san what are you doing here?" Yuki was shocked to see them in the shop.

Soujiroh eyed the boy standing next to Yuki. "I'm here for our date. You didn't forget did you? It's a special day after all." He walked up to Yuki and put his arm around her shoulders, completely ignoring the person standing next to her. "You did forget didn't you? I'm heartbroken, Yuki-chan."

"Nishikado-san, what are you talking about? I don't understand. I have to work today. I didn't kn…."

Soujiroh stopped her, placing his finger on her lips, "I forgive you, Yuki-chan, this once. After all you're my favorite girl and we should be going."

Yuki looked at him as if he were crazy. She swatted his hand away with irritation. "I don't understand what you are talking about, but you are being rude to Hayashi-san. I need to help pick out a cake for him."

"Well that is unfortunate, because there's nothing left in the shop for sale. I've actually bought everything already. So sorry." Soujiroh smirked at Hayashi-san. He didn't know what that boy was doing here, but he wasn't going to have him a reason to stay any longer than necessary.

"Oh I see… that's unfortunate." Hayashi stared at the man in front of him. He knew the possessive stance when he saw it. He was trespassing on someone that Nishikado-san thought was his. "Well I guess I should be going then. I'll stop by again. Have a nice day, Matsuoka-san, bye." Retreating now would be the best course of action. He would have to come up with a plan of his own.

"No don't go. Nishikado-san hasn't bought every…." Yuki stopped as the black credit card was put in front of her face. Looking up at Nishikado-san she was completely baffled at what he was doing.

"I assume this is still good here?"

Yuki grabbed the card out of Nishikado-san's hand. She shoved away from him to walk Hayashi-san to the door. "I'm sorry, Hayashi-san, I'm not sure what's going on. But come back the day after tomorrow, I'll be here then and I would love to help you pick out a cake for your family."

Hayashi turned back towards Yuki, looking past her to stare straight at Soujiroh. "I understand what's going on, it won't last forever." Glancing back down at Yuki he told her he would be back and then turned and walked out the door.

Yuki turned back around to give Soujiroh a piece of her mind. She found him leaning against the countertop, on the phone. She didn't really want to know what he was talking about with that smile on his face, instead she added up the total for every piece of pastry in the store and ran his card through. It gave her some twisted satisfaction to charge him for everything whether he had meant it or not.

"Yuki-chan, do you have any of the twins' favorites today?" Akira looked through the glass displays trying to figure out which one the twins would enjoy the most.

"Yes we do. I baked it fresh a little while ago. It's in the back. Let me get it for you."

When she came back to the front, she saw that Akira was on the phone. She packaged up the cake, politely waiting till he was done with conversation to give him the package. Once he was done, she pushed the package across the counter to him. "Here you go, Mimasaka-san. I hope that they enjoy it." She noticed that Soujiroh was also off the phone.

"Thank you, Yuki-chan." He turned to Soujiroh, "Yo. Sorry I have to go. Business." With that he took the cake and walked out the door.

"Hey you're my ride," Soujiroh yelled after him. "Damn it. Guess I'll just have to call the car around. So, Yuki-chan, where should we go today? For our date that is?"

"More importantly, Nishikado-san, what are you going to do with all this?" She spread her arms wide indicating all the pastries in the shop.

"That's easy; we'll just take it to Eitoku Gakuen. I'll tell the girls it's all from me. They'll eat every crumb. I'll have my people take care of it."

Yuki let out an exasperated sigh because she knew that he was right. He was worshipped at that school; she had no doubt that some girls would just take the sweets home to put in front of the shrine they had built for him. She started packing up the sweets only to have Soujiroh stop her.

"Oi. Don't do that my people will take care of it. See, they are already here." Soujiroh jerked his head in the direction of the door to indicate the gentlemen standing outside. "I have the best idea! You have never seen Eitoku Gakuen have you? I should take you on a tour of my old haunts."

"No, thank you," Yuki said as she was taking off her apron. "I have heard enough horror stories from Tsukushi-chan to last a lifetime. The girls there are horrid and I wouldn't step foot in there."

"You're with me you'll be fine. No one would dare. Come on it will be fun."

Yuki looked doubtful, but decided that it was just easier to agree than to fight. After all, she thought, it was a date wasn't it? "Fine, but I won't like it. I think I should go home and change."

"You'll be with me, so you'll love it. I'll have them leave a car so I can take you home, then on to our date."

"Stop calling it that. It's not a date, you're probably just bored."

"Yuki-chan, you wound me," he said placing one hand over his heart. "Of course it's a date."

"Whatever, Nishikado-san." She stamped down that sudden surge of happiness that he kept insisting it was a real date. She wanted it to be true. _Maybe this time it will be different, _she thought. _Maybe, just maybe he remembers that one year ago today was the day when he'd came for her for the first time._

******

Yuki walked in the door. She needed to hurry because Nishikado-san was waiting in the car. She picked out her best skirt, top and pair of heels. If she was going to go to that school with Soujiroh, she needed to look her best. She ran a quick brush through her hair. Looking at her reflection she suddenly wished she wore makeup. She knew that she wasn't going to get any better than this, so she grabbed her purse and headed back towards the front door.

The white envelope stopped her. Mustering up her courage, she grabbed the letter. She knew that Nishikado-san was waiting for her, but she just had to know. She ripped the letter open and read the contents.

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the European Business School London for the Fall Season. We hope to receive a reply from you shortly…_

…_You will be receiving another envelope with information that is required for new students, as well as the curriculum and names of the professors…_

_Please advise us of your decision within that week. We have included an email address for you to do so, as well as online instructions for your full scholarship to our school…_

_We look forward to hearing from you…._

Yuki sat down on the step. This was the news that she had been dreading. She had sent in her application at her parents' insistence. She had excelled in both English and French in school, and her father was wanting her to be educated in international business. She never had thought in a million years that she would be accepted.

It was a dream come true. She could go abroad to school with a full scholarship. A huge part of her wanted to go, but her heart knew that there were so many reasons to stay. She glanced at the calendar on the wall. She had put off opening the letter for three days, counting the normal amount of time it took for the letter to reach her that only left her exactly two days to decide.

Lost in thought Yuki jumped as she heard the car horn outside. She read the letter again and then put it in her purse. She got up, opened the door and stepped outside. She looked at the man she loved sitting in the car waiting for her, her thoughts straying back to the letter in her purse. What was she going to do?

The one thing that she knew for certain was that it was time for her to make a decision.


	4. Only Fooling Myself Chapter 3 Part B

Chapter 3B

Yuki forced the decision out of her mind for now, focusing on the man beside her. She simply wanted to bask in the joy this day was going to bring. She wanted to make some good lasting memories with Soujiroh, not let anything ruin it. Whether she was staying or leaving she wanted to have memories that she could horde for herself. She didn't have enough.

In her heart she had always suspected that Soujiroh would never really let go of Sara. Would Soujiroh ever really her as anything more than an occasionally annoying friend? But that didn't stop her from trying or wishing that he would one day realize he cared for her. Her heart and her head were always at war with each other over what really was and what may never be.

Glancing at Soujiroh, she watched him as he waved at the guard at the gate, sailing past. Yuki tapped down the butterflies in her stomach as they approached the beautifully manicured lawns and the tall elegant buildings of Etiudo. She knew that this was a world completely different than what she was used to. It was a world of self indulgence, gratification and superficial beings. She could already see the designer clad boys and girls walking around the school. Everything on them was nafme brand. From their hair ties to their shoes, everything was only the best that money could buy.

People would assume that since she was friends with F4, she would be more acclimated to this world. The truth was even though her best friend had married into it, Yuki still felt vastly inferior to the beautiful people around her. Makino seemed to have made some adjustments and Yuki knew in time she would fully be able to accept everything. Yuki just didn't know if this was something she could ever get used to.

They raced past the front entrance at a speed that would terrify most girls, but she was used to it by now. A few girls pointed, giggling behind their hands, while others simply stared in awe as Soujiroh drove past. Finally, they pulled into a covered garage that had four spaces and the F4 symbol on the top. Without waiting for Soujiroh to open the door, she got out.

A group of giggling, screaming girls had followed them to the garage. Yuki rolled her eyes as they fawned over him. To his credit he didn't even seem to notice. Simply walking around and then holding his arm out to her as her escort. Ignoring the glares and the harsh whispers, she placed a hand on his arm allowing him to lead her away.

She felt the angry, pouty stares boring into her back as she walked. Yuki silently sighed to herself. It was going to be a long day. What had she been thinking? She knew this was a bad idea.

*********

Yuki stubbornly admitted to herself that the school was very impressive. It was kind of twisted the way everything looked so elegant and refined, but yet behind these doors the people who were so beautiful on the outside, were so cold and ugly on the inside. She tried to imagine Makino in a school like this, her best friend with her out stated opinions and fierce sense of justice, but it was hard. She couldn't see Makino fitting into the elite and knew that it must have truly been fate that linked her life to that of the four princes of Japan. What else could have taken a hold of Makino's life so completely and thoroughly? Forcing her into a direction she never imagined?

Yuki peered over the railing on the fire escape. The view was really pretty out here, almost serene in a way. She could spend hours standing here just watching the people scurry down below.

"Makino used to hide out here according to Rui," Soujiroh told her laughing as he leaned over the railing. "Something about screaming at the top of her lungs about Domyouji and various other things."

Yuki smiled as she imagined Makino here yelling at the top of her lungs about the injustices of the world. "So you all knew that she was here, yelling her head off about you?"

"No, we didn't know until we all graduated. I mean we knew that Rui would sleep in the stairwell, but we never knew he had company. Just one day he was staring at the landing and we asked him why and that's when he told us."

"Oh I see."

"He said that one day he had been trying to take a nap and was jolted awake by a girl screaming unbelievable at the top of her lungs. He was so startled he almost had a heart attack"

"Poor Hanazwai-san. But, you know, I admire Makino that way. She's always been so loyal and true to herself. She never lets anyone push her around when she believes she's right. I wish I had her kind of courage."

Soujiroh stared at Yuki. He knew that when it came to self confidence, she may have doubts about herself, but truthfully the way Soujiroh saw it, it was her vulnerability, her child-like innocence and fierce loyalty that made her such a wonderful person. He was surprised sometimes that they had become friends. He was more surprised that she didn't see in herself what was so obvious to those around her.

He wasn't really good with lasting relationships with women, whether it was friendship or otherwise. The ones that he seemed to steer clear of the most were good girls like Yuki. Their hearts were different than the simpering, manipulative females that he made his usual conquests. The women he dated had a very clear understanding of the situation from the very beginning. He and they were both there for a fun time. There was no promise of anything lasting and no promise commitment. Occasionally there were women that would want something more than he was willing to give and they never got a call again.

Something about the way she had been crying that night had touched some deeper part of him that he hadn't known existed. The sudden urge to protect the innocent girl on the sidewalk had been uncharacteristic. He remembered the tears streaming down her face, her shoulders shaking with her heart ache and the fierce need to punish whoever had made her feel that way. With only a little self doubt, he had stopped the car and gotten out to try to help the best he could.

Ever since that night, she had become a part his life. He knew that her feelings may be something more than friendship with him. He chose to ignore that. It was better the way it was. If he truly ever thought that she might want something more, he didn't know what he'd do. But one thing was for sure, he would never treat her like the other women in his life by casting her aside.

"Well, Yuki-chan, would you like to see the F4 lounge? Or where I studied?"

"You studied, Nishakdo-san?"

"Yes I studied, you sassy girl. It is a school after all and I did need to graduate. Money and my good looks can't get me everything."

"Well then I must see this place of miracles. Please take me to your study room."

"It would be my pleasure."

Yuki once again placed her hand on his arm to be lead away. It was nice to walk side by side with Soujiroh, down the empty hallways through the elite school. They stopped in front of a room clearly marked, "F4 Private Classroom- general people not admitted".

Soujiroh stopped and stood to the side letting Yuki into the classroom first. Following behind her, he took a look at the classroom he never really cared for. School had been another social engagement he had merely kept to pass the time. It wasn't that he didn't value the education he received, he just knew that his role in life was already set and there was no detouring from it. Most of the time he could just see it laid out in front of him in horrifying clarity. With each passing year, he knew that his carefree days were numbered.

He watched Yuki idly walking around the room. Sometimes he really marveled that he got along with Yuki so well. It was funny the way common things held appeal to him when they were alone. He didn't have to be over indulgent or wave around his money and status. With Yuki he could simply just be. He didn't have to put on a show simply because she wasn't impressed by those things.

She was the total opposite of what he was. Where he was rich, she was poor. Where he was devilish, she was innocent. But the things that he was lacking most she seemed to over look or actually make up for the gaps that he lacked in character. She never really asked for anything in particular. She didn't whine when he didn't call. Except for the occasional friendly bantering, they didn't fight or argue. He knew he could simply be himself when he was with her. It was a nice, refreshing change from the role he had made for himself. Money and status didn't really mean anything to her or Makino. Both girls wouldn't hesitate to put him in his place should they feel it was necessary. Smiling he leaned against the wall, his eyes following Yuki as she walked around the room and took everything in.

Yuki kept her back to him as she toured the surroundings of the classroom. Calling it a classroom seemed to do the room little justice; it was far from any classroom that Yuki had ever been in or would ever be in. Four desks were seated in a half circle around the room, all with new laptops perched on them. She noticed that the walls and its corners were equipped with high end speakers for surround sound. A 52 inch plasma TV sat on one of the walls as well. She marveled at the clean lines and majestic appearance of the room as a whole.

Fresh cut roses were on each desk, each vase holding a different color. On Domyouji's desk the vase contained blue roses, rare and impossible to find. On Hanazawa-sans' were white roses, the most beautiful and delicate ones she had ever seen. On Mikamasa-san's desk were beautiful, bright yellow roses. The yellow roses were happy and cheery just like his personality. On the last desk there were pale peach roses. The roses were so beautiful in there simplicity. She ran her fingers along the petals, across the shiny desk silently hoping that the day would only get better.

Turning back to Soujiroh, she raised an eyebrow in question. "So I assume that all of the instructors are male?"

"Why would you think that?"

Yuki smiled at the superficial innocence on Soujiroh' s face. Stifling a giggle she said, "Oh I don't know just a hunch I guess. So where do we go next?"

"Lunch." Soujiroh held out his hand for Yuki.

"Lunch?" Yuki stared as Soujiroh held out his hand instead of his arm this time. Was she supposed to hold it? Unsure, she walked forward slowly, placing her hand his. She could feel warmth spreading to her cheeks. She shyly looked up at him as his large hand closed around her small one, her heartbeat kicking up a notch in response. "Ok, you lead the way."


	5. The Right Kind of Wrong Chapter 4

*****A/N** **I'm going to rate this part PG-13. Just an FYI. **Also a HUGE thanks again to my beta! She rocks! Totally took the time to read this over, trying to help me over my "and," addiction even though she was having technical difficulties of her own! ^0^ YOU ROCK! Once again leave some luvins! Thanks for reading!!

The Right Kind of Wrong (Ch.4)

(Song by Leanne Rimes-Album Cyote Ugly)

Yuki stared out of the window of the F4 lounge. The sun was setting and had cast a faint orange glow across the campus scenery. Yuki turned as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"So I told the teacher, it's RAM not REM. Baka!" Domyouji smiled at his intelligence. "And he's the one getting the paid to be a teacher! It proves I'm more impressions than him!"

Makino followed behind Domyouji, staring at him in disbelief. When they reached the landing, Makino set down her books on the table and said, "I've told you before it's REM, not RAM. The teacher was right, you are wrong." Makino let out a sigh of frustration. "And do you mean impressive? How could you receive such an expensive education and come out still speaking horrible Japanese?"

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about. You're the only one that thinks I'm wrong. The teacher said I was right."

"Remind me to talk to Okasa-sama about how you intimidate your teachers. Because you're wrong, the teacher was right."

"I don't mimic my teachers! Why would you tell her a lie?" Domyoji sat down crossing his arms across his chest, pouting.

"Intimidate not imitate! We need to get you a language instructor as well. How can you talk in front of a board of directors that way?" Makino sat down in the chair across from him. Placing the palm of her head in her hand she turned her head towards the window. "Yuki!!"

Makino got up and ran over to Yuki giving her a hug. "What are you doing here?"

Yuki hugged Makino in return. "Nishikado-san is giving me a tour of the school. We've been here all day. It's been fun."

"Really? With Nishikado-san?" Makino raised an eyebrow and watched as friend looked at everything around her, but Makino. "That's interesting…very interesting. Hmmmm…"

Yuki looked at Makino curiously. "Hmmmm? Hmmm what exactly?"

Makino shook her head. "Nothing, just thinking. But anyway, I didn't think I would ever hear of this school described that way. Have you eaten?"

"We had lunch before we toured the rest of the school. But I think I should head home so I can have some dinner." Suddenly Yuki jumped as she heard the riotous screams of the girls downstairs.

"Yo." Both girls turned to the next person to enter the room. Rui walked into the room with a slight smile on his face. "Makino, Yuki-chan." He sauntered over to the couch taking a seat. "Hanazawa-san, nice to see you again," Yuki said with a bow.

"Hanazawa-san…" Makino stopped as she saw Rui's eyes close and his breathing become even. How did that man fall asleep so fast? Sighing she turned back to Yuki. "So you haven't eaten dinner yet?"

"She'll be having dinner with me. I just made reservations at my favorite restaurant. I'll drop Yuki-chan off at home to get changed. How does that sound Yuki-chan?"

Yuki stared at Soujiroh. She wondered if he also wanted the day to end on a perfect note as well. The day had seemed to fly by. It had been full of laughter and smiles. Soujiroh spent the day walking her around describing his lazy days here at the school and she had enjoyed every minute of it. It was one of the best days of her life; of course she would want it to continue. "Yes that's fine, Nishikado-san."

Makino gave a Soujiroh a look that warned him he was treading on very thin ice. She didn't know what he was up to, but regardless she didn't like it. What she did know was that Yuki had been in love with him secretly for a little over two years. The last thing that she wanted to happen was for Soujiroh to break her heart. "Dinner sounds wonderful. Domyouji and I should go with you."

"Baka! We can't. We have a dinner date with the president of Westwood Corp and his wife, remember?" Domyouji straightened in his chair. His tone and presence seemed to change as he began to talk business. A maturity fell over his body that was apparent by the look in his eyes and the way he presented himself. His actions and speech became more elegant and refined as he went on. "This isn't something we can cancel. Merger talks have started with the company. We need to make a good impression. Okasa-sama will also be attending."

Makino hid her amusement at her friend's reactions at Domyouji's transformation. At first she had been surprised at the change in his demeanor when he went into business man mode. It was almost as if he flipped some unseen switch and suddenly he became the man that lurked beneath the surface of a silly, pompous rich heir.

When she had seen it the first time, she had questioned him about it. He had simply said that he had a family to take care of now. It was his path to provide for her and hopefully, one day, their children. Their future was riding on his ability to be successful. With her beside him, he could do anything. Being around his friends he could relax and be who he really was. When there was business to be done, he needed to get it done.

That he had thought of something so mature and responsible by himself, she couldn't have been more proud. She had fallen in love with him all over again that day. "I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me." Makino gave Yuki a hug goodbye and walked to where Domyouji sat. Placing a hand on her shoulder, she gave him a little squeeze. "We should be going then. It takes me forever to get ready for these things."

"That's because you used to be poor." Domyouji reached his hand up to cover hers to let her know he was just teasing. "I keep telling you to let me hire people to help you."

"I can do it on my own. I don't need help."

Domyouji shrugged his shoulders giving into the fight he knew he wouldn't win anyway. "Have it your way. Later, Soujiroh, Yuki-chan." He stood up and headed toward the stairs.

"Wait. I'll walk down there with you." Soujiroh pushed away from the arm of the couch following them. He turned to Yuki as he prepared to walk away. "Wait here for me; I'll bring the car around so you don't have to walk. OK?"

Soujiroh waited for Yuki to nod in acceptance as he went down the stairs. Once he reached the bottom, he was surprised to see both Makino and Domyouji waiting for him. He didn't have to wait long to find out why.

"What are you doing?" Makino glared at him with her hands on her hips.

Domyouji rolled his eyes and pulled her away. "Not here, baka. She'll hear you. Keep walking."

Makino let herself be lead away, making sure that Soujiroh was walking beside them as well. "Ok. Ok. Now, what are you doing?"

Soujiroh looked down at his friend's wife. He had a feeling he knew what she was talking about, but decided to act like he didn't have a clue. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Nishikado-san. I want to know what you're up to."

"I'm just killing some time with one of my friends. What's wrong with that?"

Makino shot Soujiroh a look as they entered the garage. Walking past the driver waiting for her and Domyouji, she stopped at Soujiroh's car. "I really hope that's all it is. Does she think that's all it is? Because I would hate to have to punch you."

"Yes Yuki-chan is aware that we are just friends. There's nothing more to it. Promise." Soujiroh crossed his finger over his heart trying to give Makino what he hoped was a reassuring look.

"I hope so for your sake, Nishikado-san. That jerk she was with last time almost destroyed her. I would hate to see what she would be like if it happened again."

"I understand your warning, Makino. I'm on my best behavior. You have nothing to worry about."

Makino gave the playboy in front of her a dubious look. She had to go; she could see Domyouji tapping his foot impatiently as he waited. "You better." With that she turned on her heel and walked away. She wished she could believe him, but she knew better.

Soujiroh chuckled as he got in the car, starting it. Driving to the front of the building where the lounge was, he parked along the curb. Ignoring the silly girls flocking around, he got out to retrieve his date. Although she didn't have the wealth or refinement of the girls around him, only she treated him with sincerity and truly meant it.

He walked up the stairs and saw Yuki staring out the window. The look on her face said that she was in deep thought, she was so unguarded and trusting she hadn't even heard him enter. He wondered what had been on her mind lately that she refused to share. Usually she was overflowing with information when he asked, whether it was about tea ceremony class or anything else that was going on. But lately she had seemed a little on edge, more guarded and jumpy. When he asked what was going on, she simply changed the subject or just didn't answer at all. It was strange to him.

But at this moment she looked beautiful standing there in soft light of the room. The sun had just set so it wasn't completely dark, the dusting of twilight still lingered somewhere on the edges of the day. The hue and Yuki's thoughtful look made it appear like she had just stepped out of a painting. It suddenly hit Soujiroh that Yuki had gone from an awkward girl to a beautiful young woman. He didn't know what bothered him more; the fact that it had happened or the fact that he seemed to notice.

Soujiroh shook his head clearing out his fanciful thoughts. Clearing his throat he saw Yuki jump a little. "Are you ready to go, Yuki-chan?"

Yuki nodded yes, walking to where Soujiroh was standing. "Are you going to drop me off or wait for me?" She asked as he placed a hand on his offered arm.

"I'll drop you off and have a car pick you up in about an hour. Is that going to be enough time?"

"Yes, that will be enough time." Yuki wondered why he was sending the car around. Was he planning to go somewhere on his bike afterward? She felt a little pang of sadness enter her day as she pictured him ending his night with one of his nameless conquests. Shaking off her dreary thoughts, she decided that she wasn't going to let it get to her today. Pasting on a smile, she let Soujiroh lead her to the car. He held the door open and closed it behind her as she slid in.

Looking through the window she saw the now familiar glares of the female, and some male, students. She wasn't some animal in the zoo for them to gawk at and judge.

She heard Soujiroh get in the driver's seat and start up the car. As he was putting it into gear, Yuki suddenly felt extremely childish. She rolled down her window and stuck out her tongue to all the onlookers. The shocked faces she saw as they drove off made it all worthwhile.

******

Yuki stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She smiled at the memory of today. It was nice with Soujiroh. Some of the time she forgot that she was actually supposed to be nervous, falling into a comfortable state with him. That really worried her. She felt like the more comfortable she got with him, the more he let her down.

All the feelings and things she tended to push aside for her own sanity were now something that she had to take into consideration for her decision. It was going to be necessary for her to start weighing the pros and cons of her life here in Japan. She needed a reason to stay. There were already too many to leave.

Some would say that she would simply stay because Makino was here. When in reality, once Makino had gotten married, things started to change. It wasn't her fault and it was purely to be expected. As you grew up the priorities in your life changed. Those changes were more extreme when there was someone else sharing your life with you. She and Makino weren't exactly drifting apart, but the days where she depended on her for guidance was becoming fewer and farther between. She understood Makino's path in life now and she respected her for it. It hurt that the ones that had always been by her seemed to be growing up and moving on, while she stood in the same place watching the others pass her by. She knew that the decisions that she made now would affect what path her life took later.

She couldn't say that there was anyone else to really stay for. She had honestly stayed to make sure that Makino had support while on her wild run with Domyouji. Her parents had left almost six months ago, transferring offices for her father's business. She never really told anyone, as it seemed almost trivial with all the other chaos going on.

Then of course there was Soujiroh. Could he count as a reason to stay or a reason to go? She still wasn't sure. Although the day had been wonderful, she knew that the happiness would soon fade and once again she would be stuck waiting for him. How long could one person wait for the other? She didn't really want to find out first hand.

She told herself that if today was an indication of future events then she would happily stay here in Japan and create herself some kind of life. Of course she wanted to stay. Even though things were changing around her, it wasn't as if everything was strange and unrecognizable. All the things changing still had a familiarity that she was scared to give up.

She had never been one to take that leap of faith. Going somewhere where everything was new and scary was not something that had ever crossed her mind. There was comfort in familiarity. Certain calm took place with the knowledge on how your day was going to play out. Joy in knowing where the best places to go and what to do on a weekend night was something she could take pride in. This was the country she had grown up in. Her heart, in more ways than one, was here.

What would she have if she left? The fear of the unknown gnawed at her insides, twisting them with the promise of things and places she didn't know or had ever seen. Did she have the strength to move on? She wasn't sure. She wasn't strong like other people.

On the other hand, Yuki thought as she brushed her hair, there was one major point to leaving. Put plainly, she would be away from Soujiroh. She could reclaim her life and her love for herself. People could label it as running away, because in truth it was. But what choice did she have? Years of watching him give the attention she wanted to other women? The love she yearned for given to a woman he could never have? There was only so much the human heart could take before it became not just broken, but damaged. Damaged was so much harder to come back from. Damaged meant that there was a chance it could never be repaired. The sad part was that if there was even the faintest glimmer of hope, Yuki knew that she would wait. She would place herself into the hands of fate and just let it play out.

As she put on the prettiest dress in her wardrobe, she tried to think of more reasons to stay. She was so disappointed that she couldn't think of any more than the weak ones from earlier. People moved away from their homes, the places they grew up in all the time. When it came to reasons to stay, she knew that she would only really need one. She would throw all the other thoughts and futures aside for this one reason. The only reason she would ever need to stay, would always be for Soujiroh. To have him love her would be enough of a reason to cast aside whatever else.

Sad and pathetic she knew, but she knew that it was the naked truth. She carried hope, but she knew that more than likely it was in vain. No matter how much she wished, no matter how hard she hoped, it would never happen. She knew in her heart it was time to let go. Sitting down on her bed, she picked up the one picture she had of Soujiroh. It had been taken on the day of Makino's wedding. The F4 where looking so suave and serious, while the two girls in the picture smiled happily.

She rubbed her fingers across his face, feeling the first tear fall. Why? Why couldn't it be her? Why wasn't it ever her? Was she not worthy? Was she not special enough? Grasping the picture to her chest, Yuki let the tears fall down her face. The heart wrenching sobs escape her throat as ultimate despair claimed her body. Her heart was breaking because she knew that she was leaving. Tonight would be her last night with Soujiroh, her last night to see his smiling, charming face. She would memorize every line. She would put on her best smile, listen to every word, bask in every blush and take the memory with her. She deserved that much.

Yuki didn't know how long she would be gone. She knew that she wouldn't come back until she was ready. Who knew how long that would take? Being ready meant being able to run into Soujiroh and not have her heart skip a beat. To be able to face him without caring who was on his arm or who he was dating. She didn't want to hate him; she wanted indifference. She didn't want to stay here until she ended up hating him or herself.

She needed to stop crying for the things that would never be. She still had things left to do. The car would be here soon and she needed to fix herself so her breakdown was less evident. She wasn't going to tell anyone her plans. She knew that they would try to talk her out of it. They would do their best to try to make her stay. She didn't want to have to look at them in the eye and admit that she was running away.

After a few minutes Yuki took a couple of deep breaths; calming herself the best she could, she sat down at her vanity. She applied the light make up with care. Putting blush on her cheeks to hide the paleness of her face.

Taking one last look, she decided that her eyes weren't that puffy, makeup hid it well. Patting her face to make sure that most of the redness was gone, she squared her shoulders and smiled into the mirror. She had to make sure that the smile reached her eyes so Soujiroh didn't suspect anything. She didn't want any of his questions tonight. She was determined to make tonight her perfect night. She heard the knock on the front door and knew that the car was here. Rising she took one last look in the full length mirror, perfect. Tonight was going to be perfect, she could feel it.

*****

Yuki walked into the luxurious restaurant, looking around in wonder. The muted lights, hushed voices and tinkling of fine crystal fascinated her. She felt odd and out of place stepping into this world; she felt extremely self conscious and nervous. Pasting a bright smile on her face, she tried soothing her frayed nerves with the fact that Soujiroh would be here soon. With her head bowed, she slid into the seat that was pulled out for her. Hands in her lap she played with ends of the tablecloth to pass the time.

Yuki blushed slightly as she wondered how many women had been ushered to this same corner with Soujiroh. Although she didn't want to think about that, it almost seemed inevitable most of the time. He was a playboy and she accepted that to a certain extent. She knew that no matter how she tried to push reality away, it was going to seep into her mind no matter what. Some thoughts just couldn't be avoided.

The waiter came by offering her a glass of water and a menu. She told him that she would wait to order when her companion arrived.

After about thirty minutes, Yuki heard soft footsteps heading toward the table. Her heartbeat got faster as she looked up in anticipation of seeing Soujiroh. He was finally there. The happiness faded from her eyes as she saw that it was only the waiter checking on her again. He asked if he could bring her anything else to drink. Yuki just shook her head, again insisting that she would wait. She saw a look of knowing pass across the gentleman's face and blushed in response. It was obvious to her that this scenario had played out in this restaurant before. But Yuki had faith that Soujiroh would come.

At about an hour, the waiter once again returned to Yuki's table. Refilling her glass he laid a folded white piece of paper on her plate, wordlessly walking away. She stared at the paper for what seemed like forever. She didn't really want to read it. On one hand the note could contain the reason why Soujiroh had left her waiting for an hour. Maybe the note was to tell he was on his way. On the other hand it could be that he wasn't coming at all. There was only one way to find out.

Gingerly she picked up the note and unfolded it. Sighing with relief she read its contents.

_Had to stop somewhere to finalize an appointment for tomorrow. I'm on my way in about five minutes. I took the liberty of ordering for us. Start without me, I'll be there soon. –Soujiroh_

Yuki smiled to herself. She couldn't believe that she had let herself doubt. She place the note aside as the first course was sat in front of her. She felt silly. As she took her first bite of her food, she savored flavor. He was on his way. Today was special after all and tonight was going to be perfect.

******

Yuki silently made her way through all the courses. When dessert was finally presented to her, she couldn't look the waiter in the face. She knew if she did she would crack from the look of pity that was surely there. She wouldn't cry. She refused to. She knew what he was thinking. She didn't have to see his face to know that she was just another girl they could whisper about when she was gone.

Hours had passed since the note had arrived at the table. She had continued with her dinner, hoping, praying that with the next course Soujiroh would run into the restaurant apologizing to her about being so late. She had stamped that part of her that constantly told her he wasn't coming. Refusing to give in and accept the truth, she had hung on to the hope of her little fantasy.

But now time was out. She couldn't deny anymore that she had been stood up. She had to accept defeat. He wasn't coming.

This had been the last chance for her heart to convince her head to stay here in Japan. But the night had turned into a total disaster.

Yuki pushed the sweet looking dessert around on her plate. She didn't really have room for it, but she didn't want to have to get up and leave by herself either. It was bad enough when the waiter had come by taking away the second plates across from her that had been full of food. He had never said a word, but he didn't have to for her to know that he felt sorry for her.

She drained her glass of champagne and filled it again. What had she really been expecting? Soujiroh wouldn't change his ways for her. He had spent the day humoring himself because he had nothing better to do. She had just been along for the ride.

Yuki felt the resentment build inside of her. She felt like she was always just along for the ride. She angrily drank another glass of the bubbly champagne. She knew that more than likely if he were to call her tomorrow, he would act as though nothing of importance has happened the night before and of course her being stupid would simply say nothing. She was tired of her being the doormat in the relationship.

She knew deep down that she was partially to blame. One smile, one look was all it ever took for her to forgive him and look the other way. It was her fault that she had given him so much power and let him know he had he knew that all he had to do was be charming; who could blame him for using it to his advantage?

Yuki calmly put down her napkin, rising from the table. Her emotions were in turmoil inside her, but she knew that she had to leave the gilded cage that Soujiroh had left her in. Stopping to get her coat, she waited out front for the driver to pick her up.

*******

Soujiroh felt bad for leaving Yuki in the restaurant waiting for him. But somehow a part of him had panicked and suddenly he had wanted to be as far away from her as possible. He didn't know if it had happened when he was getting ready at his own house or after the shocked horror at his actions when he checked in with her to let her know what he had been up to. One thing that had been certain…the instinct to run, of flight or fight...it had taken over and he had listened. True to his nature, he had run. Looking for the first free companion of the night had been instinctual. He hadn't really thought about it, he had just done it. It was a habit that was too engrained in him to question why.

A part of his mind told him what an ass he was for doing this, not just any woman, but to Yuki-chan. How did he have the right to call her a friend, when he didn't even treat his friends that poorly, ever? That was Soujiroh's life, attention to details. He knew when to give a little and when to take a little. But those lines always seemed so fuzzy when it came to Yuki.

He knew her well; her thought process was too simple and caring to be mad for any length of time. She would forgive him; she always did. There was a little nagging voice in the back of his mind that told him she may not, but it was easily silenced with another drink and pretty girl. He would talk to Yuki about it later. Bringing her flowers and a smile always seemed to do the trick.

*******

Riding in the car back to the house Yuki hoped would calm her down. But she knew that it was a hope that was in vain as she again counted to 100. She didn't know what had made her so angry this time. Maybe it was the fact that she had been through this so many times, or maybe it was simply the fact that all the hidden hurt and anger finally came to a head, simply overflowing. It seemed the more she tried to calm herself down the angrier she became. _Lucky for him that he's not here, _she thought,_ this time I would probably do something I would really, really regret._ Yuki crossed her arms in front of her, her face contorted into an angry pout.

Glaring out of the window for most of the drive, Yuki sat silently screaming in her mind at Soujiroh. If he was here right now, she would really let him have it. The sweet Yuki that he knew had, had enough. Everyone had a breaking point. She didn't know why this time seemed to be it, but it was that much was for certain.

The drive home was long, boring and lonely. Yuki stared aimlessly out the window of the back seat. Suddenly her eyes widened as the car drove past what looked like Soujiroh and an unnamed woman.

"Stop the car!" Yuki sat up in the seat. "I said stop the car!"

The driver looked at her like she had lost her mind. "I'm sorry miss, but my instructions are to return you safely home. Master's orders I apologize I cannot."

Yuki glared at the driver. No way. She was _not_ staying in this car. There was no way on earth that he could make her. "You either stop the car or I'm going to get out while it's still moving."

The driver just smiled at her indulgently. She could tell that he didn't believe her. She wasn't bluffing and she got angry at the fact that he didn't believe her. Straightening her spine, she placed her hand on the door handle and started to open the door. She saw the driver eyes go wide one second before he slammed on the brakes.

"Miss please---"

Yuki didn't hear the rest as her feet hit the pavement. She kicked off her heels, running barefoot down the street. She knew that had been Soujiroh. _How dare him! With a…argh! _Yuki thought seething with anger. She didn't know what she would do when she got there. She just wanted to get there.

Rounding the corner she saw who she had been searching for. He didn't even notice her approaching. He was too caught up with whispering into the giggling female's ear. Well she would see who had the last laugh.

"Nishikado-san!"

Yuki walked right up to the couple and shoved the girl to the side. She pulled Soujiroh to the side of the building. Before he could ask what was going on, she grabbed the sides of his shirt, pulled him forward and kissed him.

She kissed him with all the anger and pain she felt inside. She kissed him in spite of the fact that his arms were still down at his side and he was as stiff as a board. She continued to kiss him despite the fact that the hands she had clenched in fists in the front of his jacket were the only thing holding him in place. She knew that she was probably a horrible kisser; she had only done this a few other times. She had never done anything like this. Her heart told her that this was wrong, but at the same time she felt so right. The tears started forming in her eyes as she slowly let go, backing away.

She put her wrist up covering her mouth like a shield. What had she just done? She started backing away faster trying to escape.

Whatever intention she had to stop, was completely forgotten in the next instant. She felt Soujiroh pull her to him forcefully, taking her by surprise. She let out a little squeak, which was answered by what she swore was a growl. He grabbed both of her hands, pinning both of her arms above her head, trapping her against the wall of the building. The kiss turned hot, scorching and she was burning up on inside.

Even though she was a novice at this, Soujiroh wasn't. This was what all those women wanted. What they craved. He was addictive. His actions were soft and gentle, yet at the same time forceful and demanding. He knew when to nudge for more and then back away. Yuki shivered as she felt his hand run along her thigh, toying with the garter tie he found there. Her head fell to the side with abandon as his lips found the pulse in her neck, his hand sliding up the side of her ribcage.

Yuki felt some unknown part of her come alive. She didn't know what she was feeling. Her whole body was tingling. What was happening to her?

Her heart and body knew what was going on, even if her mind didn't. This is what she had wanted, what she had been missing. His attention, his passion, his undeniable attraction to her that she knew had to be there. Yuki decided to stop thinking about it so much and just enjoy whatever it was.

She sighed into his lips, her body molding smoothly with his. He finally was hers.

He couldn't take it. He needed her…only her. He felt rushed and clumsy. His actions were frantic. Soujiroh felt like a man dying of thirst.

Why had he never noticed how delicious she was? The smell of her skin was intoxicating, like warm vanilla on a lazy spring day. Her lips, her skin both were so soft and inviting. Her body was the most intriguing. He had never known what those ill fitting clothes had been hiding all these years. She had curves that would drive a saint to sin. He pressed her closer, wanting more and more.

_You have to stop_, his mind screamed. She was Yuki…just Yuki. She was one of his closest female friends and confidants. He didn't think of her in this way. His body didn't respond to her this way. What was going on with him?

But there was another voice inside him as well. His heart said that this was right. She was the one. This is what he had been searching for. Nothing else mattered. Only he and his Yuki existed in this time and place. Why would he ever let this go?

He had to get her somewhere private. He needed her like he had never needed another woman in his life. She was his breath, his courage, his everything, and tonight he would prove it to her. He would show her how important she was to him.

He took a step back taking in the sight of Yuki. Her hair was a mess. Her lips were red and swollen from his kisses, and her beautiful eyes were glazed over from untapped passion. But something happened as he stared at her half closed eyes.

Why had the kisses stopped? Yuki opened her eyes a little more, looking to find answer. She watched as the passion in Soujiroh's eyes melt away, changing to doubt in one moment, and she felt something inside her start to shatter. Her heart screamed no as she watched him start to back away from her. She extended her arm, reaching her hand out, silently urging him to come back her.

Unconsciously Soujiroh started stepping back, staring at Yuki's outstretched hand. Reality had started to sink in and with it doubts as he looked at Yuki. His heart wanted to lead Yuki away, fulfilling the promise lingering in her eyes. His head said that this was wrong, he would ruin everything. He didn't want to treat her like other women. What if the passion faded? What if this was just a passing infatuation? Would he really risk it all for a single night? He was at war with himself. He didn't know what to do.

So he did the only thing he knew how to do. He took two steps back, unable to look at Yuki in the eyes. Soujiroh, the coward that he was, turned on his heel and ran. He ran without a destination. He ran just to get away from whatever had been about to happen.

His head rejoiced that he was making the right decision. But he knew if that was true then why did his heart ache so badly?


	6. Goodbye to you Chapter 5

**Goodbye to You **

_(Song by Michelle Branch)_

Yuki held her breathe as she watched Soujiroh run away from her. The part of her that had been so happy earlier was now drowning in despair. Her heart felt so heavy. Her legs finally gave way as she slid down the side of the wall. The world was cloudy and her heart broken. She was doing her best to catch her breath. The world kept blinking in and out of existence, she was going to faint, she could feel it. _I can't do this anymore. _Then the world blinked out of existence.

^.^^.^

Yuki cracked open her eyes to see the colors shifting to a pale purple outside her window. She had no idea how long she had been asleep, she only knew that each time her mind had threatened to bring her back to reality, she had simply refused, forcing herself to go back to sleep. But it was time for her to face reality.

She stared at the ceiling noticing the feeling of numbness that seemed to envelope her very being. Sometimes when the pain is so great, people compartmentalize what is happening. In process of having to deal with something so painful the body refuses to acknowledge anything happened or register the pain that went with it. This was what was happening to Yuki. She was rationalizing as a way deal with the unwanted emotion that threatened to drown her in sadness. At this point she didn't care where that lead her, as long as it lead her somewhere away from the pain.

She forced herself to sit up, scrubbing her hands across her eyes in an attempt to get them to focus. Reaching under her pillow she retrieved her cell phone, and flipped it open. The screen flashed on showing that it was six in the afternoon, but offered her nothing else. No calls; no text messages from anyone. Not that she had expected any, but she had hoped for at least and apology or explanation may have come from Soujiroh. But of course there was nothing. At this point a lie would have been better than the silence. She shoved those thoughts aside as she knew that it was a waste of time and energy. People couldn't change what they essentially where or how they existed. It was impossibility.

Sighing she looked down at herself. She was still wearing the same dress as the night before. Coming home she had been shock, making her way to her room in a haze she barely remembered. She had felt numb, simply crawling into bed, hiding under the covers, and fell asleep. To be honest she didn't really remember how she had got home. She assumed that the driver had taken pity on her and took her home. In the end she supposed it didn't really matter one way or another.

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, Yuki shuffled her way over to her laptop and flipped it open. Hitting the power button, she walked out of the room for something to drink as it booted up. Sipping on her coffee she sat at her desk, and opened her email. She printed the necessary documents, sent emails, and made reservations. Yuki sat back, satisfied with herself and her decision. It was time to make a change, put childish hopes and dreams away, to become what she needed to be.

^.^^.^

Soujiroh woke to the pounding of someone at his bedroom door. "Leave me alone! I'm freakin' sleeping!" Turning over he put the pillow over his head, and proceeded to try to pass back out.

The banging came again. "Oi wake up you lazy bum! You said that you would come to dinner with me! Oi do you hear me?" Akira pounded on the door again. He pressed his ear against the door and knew that he was being ignored. "Don't make me break the door…"

Soujiroh's feet slapped the floor as he made his way to the door. The last thing he needed was to explain to his parents why he had to replace his door _again._ _Seriously with friends like this, who needs enemies?_ Shuffling his way to the door, he unlocked it and headed back to bed.

"Oi. Get up. We have dates!"

"I don't want to. I just want to sleep!"

Akira grabbed the blankets and stripped them off of Soujiroh's body. "What gives? You _never_, and I do mean never turn down dates."

Soujiroh lifted the pillow slightly to glare at Akira. Damn him and his predictability. Akira was like a dog with a bone when he knew something was going on. Taking the pillow off of his head, he shoved it underneath it instead. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stared at the ceiling. "I kissed Yuki."

"That's not so bad. Friends can kiss."

"NO. I _kissed_ Yuki. I mean as in kissed."

"BBrrooooo!"

"Yep."

"Bro, Makino is going to kick your ass," Akira said as he shook his head as he sat backward in a chair. "Unless you're serious in returning the feelings she has for you, Yuki is completely off limits. You know that."

Soujiroh groaned putting his hands over his face, "I know! I don't know what I was thinking! I mean it's Yuki…"

"Exactly."

"God, I'm so stupid! Why did I go and do that for? And on top of everything else I liked it!"

"Wait you didn't…. well you know. Because you know that would mean.. , " Akira ran a finger across his throat.

"No. I ran away."

"I'm sorry did you say you ran away?" Akira started smiling, a small cough escaping his lips. "Casanova ran away from our little mouse Yuki?"

"Don't call her that. And to yes I ran," Soujiroh answered the irritation coming out in voice. With a scowl on his face he continued, "It's not like I could look at her after all that, so I ran."

Akira lost his smile and held up his hand, "Wait, you don't mean that you ran after you kissed her. You at least said sorry or I'm drunk or something right?"

Soujiroh said nothing and just looked at his friend saying nothing. His eyes betrayed how huge the mistake of the previous night had been. The weight of all his actions came crashing back on his shoulders, and he was getting more depressed by the minute.

Akira knew something had happened, and it was bad. How bad he didn't know. The scary part was he wasn't sure if he could fix it this time. "Maybe you should start at the beginning." About a fourth through the story Akira had started to pace, by the time half the story was done he had a drink in his hand. After Soujiroh finish his story he looked across at Soujiroh, "Bro I don't want to say that I don't understand the fear, but that was seriously wrong of you. I – I don't even…Yeah." Setting his glass down, he headed towards the door. His hand on the knob to leave he turned around to face his best friend, "I don't think there's a way to fix this." And with that he walked out of the room.

A/N: I just want to say that this chapter is a little short, but it's more of a transitional to move us forward. As always thanks for reading! ^_^


	7. Sooner or Later Chapter 6

**Sooner or Later **

**(by Michelle Branch)**

**Chapter 6**

**4 Months later….**

"DAMMIT!" Soujiroh screamed as he threw the glass of burbon he had been holding against the wall, watching as it smashed into a thousand little pieces. It granted him little satisfaction in the face of his frustration. Anger was written in every inch of his face and body as he began pacing back and forth across the room. "Where the hell is she?" He yelled as he fell into a chair. Reaching into his coat pocket, he took out the well worn note Yuki had left him to read for the hundredth time.

_You know why – Yuki_. That was all she'd left him, nothing more, nothing less. Three years equaled to three words. No matter times he read the note the words never changed; never told him what he needed to know. He gently folded the note and put it back. Placing his head in hands he relived that night again. Yes he knew why, that's why he wanted to find her. He want to think too much on why the burning need gnawed at him daily. Did he miss her? Yes. Did he love her? It was Yuki! But she was his friend and he was concerned. He was sure that was all it was.

Why couldn't find her? It was like someone was protecting her. He couldn't find any flights, no school records; there was absolutely nothing to go on. He had found out that he she had no other friends than Makino and the F4 group. Soujiroh had even swallowed his pride and talk to the boy he had seen at the airport. But of course he was of no help. He had no leads, and everything he looked at seemed to lead to a dead end. People just didn't disappear. So where was she?

He couldn't ask for Akira for help. Ok well he had at first but his friend had simply told him no. He was told that this was something he was going to suffer through and figure out on his own. For a yakuza you think that he would be more ruthless, why did he have be such a Yoda about such things?

And Makino? Soujiroh shuddered at the memory. Makino just glared at him when he had asked if she knew where Yuki had gone and then had proceeded to start jumping up and down. He had stood his ground even though he knew that the punch was coming. He was sure she knew where Yuki had gone off to but she wasn't saying. In a fit he tried to take the note she had been left from Yuki from her house, when Makino had caught him she had of course screamed at him and then proceeded to set the note on fire. He watched as the only clue he had went up into flames.

That left Rui, but what would Rui know? He followed the 'be a part of this world, but not of it' philosophy. He doubted that he knew where Yuki was any more than he did.

Soujiroh got up and started pacing again. _So where was she? What was she up to? Why coulnd't he find her dammit? _Soujiroh sighed in frustration. Being left in the dark was driving him crazy. A part of him didn't understand why he wanted to know so badly, the other part of him screamed at him he couldn't be any more of a fool if he tried. Rationally he knew she had to be ok, emotionally well, let's just say he needed to find her.

Rui watched his friend in bland interest. It had been 4 months since Yuki had simply vanished with a simple note left to each of the people she considered her friend. Rui had been no different. A small thank you from a very sweet girl who's heart had been broken. She deserved much better than what she had been handed, and he hoped that she found it. Soujiroh was only going through a portion of the pain that Yuki had more than likely felt while she had been in their company. Rui proceeded to close his eyes with a small smirk on his face. _All is fair in love and war. _

^.^^.^

Yuki pinched the bridge of her nose trying to dull the ache that had set in her eyes. Running a hand through her shoulder length hair she looked at the time, 4am. Sighing she placed the pencil into the binder of her textbook, closed it, and turned off the desk lamp. She crawled into bed too exhausted to think. That was the way she liked it. She was in bed by 4am and then up by about 8am to get ready for her first class. Exhaustion wouldn't allow her to think or dream, it gave her peace. After rechecking her alarm clock, she closed her eyes falling into an exhausted slumber.

Waking the next morning Yuki showered, grabbed her books and headed to her first class. This was the last day before the end of semester and the beginning of the Christmas/New year break. Some of the students had already left to vacation or spend time with their families. The dorms would be closed as well as the campus until the school picked again for the spring semester.

She slid into her seat, opening her textbook for a last minute review before the final was handed out. One more class after this and she would not more classes until spring semester started up again. She was actually planning on staying in London to concentrate on her tea ceremony classes during the break.

Yuki was lucky that she actually had a small flat that she shared with another student in the city. Her roommate was rarely home, as she was kind of flighty but sweet just the same. She didn't pry, but was pleasant and Yuki liked that.

She saw the professor walk in and she quickly put her books away. When the paper was set before her and the timer started, she set all musings aside and focused on her future.

^.^^.^

Soujiroh was drunk. Ok the truth was he was drunk again, it was a common occurance recently. At night it was easier than thinking while he was alone. On top of being drunk he was also celibate. _He was drunk and celibate_ he thought to himself_ celibate for Kami's sake!_ He hadn't had a woman since the night he had run away from Yuki, and then she in turn had run away from him. But honestly no other girl seemed to attract his attention since his kiss with Yuki._ Yep she had ruined women for him as well. _Getting drunk nightly seemed a way to deal with his out of control life and all the things he didn't' want to face. Yep he was drunk he told himself again as he poured himself another scotch. He was drunk, he knew it and whoever was walking into his study was about to know it as well.

"Oi," Rui gave a small salute as he sat down in a chair in Soujiroh's study. He watched as his friend made his way sloppily over to where he was sitting. "Drunk again?"

"Hai! I'm drunk. Wanna get drunk with me?" Soujiroh made a move to get back up to pour his friend a drink. He poured Rui a glass, and at the same time made the decision to forgo his glass and cradle the canister instead it would save him a few trips.

Thrusting the glass into his friend's hand, he slurred out, "Sooooo what'cha doin here?"

Rui accepted the glass from his intoxicated friend, "So why are you drunk now?" he asked swirling the brown liquid against the ice in his glass.

"Oh you know," Soujiroh said as he laid his head back against the chair, "this and that."

"Mmm-hmmm."

"What?"

Rui said nothing, and continued to stare at his best friend over the rim of his glass as he took a sip. Lowering the glass he leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees. "I know what you're going through. And I won't ask you to talk about it, all I ask is that you listen."

"Pfft. How would you know?"

"I know, trust me. Just listen." Rui took the bottle away from Soujiroh placing it gently between his feet on the carpet.

"Hmph. Fine," Soujiroh said crossing his arms over his chest rolling his eyes.

"Not too long ago there was a girl that I was in love with, but at the time I didn't know it. I thought that my heart belonged to another, and so I ignored how she felt. We spent time together. Talked to each other, shared stories and worries; she listened never judging me for my doubts and fears. I took her friendship and kindness and I didn't offer her anything in return. The funny thing was she never asked for anything. A kind word, a small gesture, maybe a smile, something so simple and yet it seemed to make her happy. Her being my friend seemed to be enough for her because she knew that my heart belong to another." Rui sat back in his chair his eyes taking on a glassy faraway look as he continued to get lost in his own story. "She would give advice and I would take it. She gave me the courage and reassurance I needed in my life at the time. She was truly a great friend. You see I had just always assumed, or rather I had convinced myself that what I had felt for her was merely friendship. That her adoration would fade, and in its place would be friendship. I truly believe that's what I wanted. How does that saying go? Be careful what you wish for? "

Rui took another sip from his glass and looked at Soujiroh in the eyes. "I was wrong. I didn't realize it until it was too late. You see by the time I realized that what I felt for her was love, she had moved on. She couldn't wait forever. Her love wasn't something that could be contained or push away, she wanted for someone to have it, someone who would appreciate it. And she found that someone. I never truly understood what she went through until I was on the other side watching. Days went by where I was dying a little with every happy smile, and every chime of laughter that fell from her lips for the new love in her life. That's when I realized this is truly hell. "

Soujiroh stayed silent he knew that Rui was talking about Makino, although he would never admit it to him. As far as he knew Rui had never discussed his feelings or what had happened to them with anyone. The scariest part of this story was that the beginning sounded so much like he and Yuki. But he didn't want the same ending; he couldn't stand back and bear it.

Rui took another sip, "This is the point to the story Soujiroh and what I have learned. There is a moment, just one moment in every relationship. There is one moment when a decision is made and that decides the fate of that relationship. The question is will you recognize it when it comes. Some people do and some people don't. The reasons can be different. Sometimes the moment is subtle and quiet, other times it's loud and obvious. Mine was subtle and it slipped away before I even knew it existed. Only by looking back did I find it. The consequences and rewards are dependent on whether you recognize it or not. You, my friend, after all this time must realize that you missed it."

A single tear slipped from the corner of Soujiroh's eye. He made no attempt to wipe it away, "But I don't think of her that way, I don't love her or anything, she's just a friend…." He whispered.

Rui said nothing. He just sat back, staying quiet so that words would sink in. He shrugged, putting his hand on Soujiroh's shoulder, "Take my advice you gotta let her and it go. If it's meant to be it will be, if it's not, well then it's not."

Rui stood up and headed for the door, "Think about what I just said to you. You can either keep punishing yourself, or you can become a man that she would be proud of if she ever met you again. If you one of the rare lucky ones that get a second chance, don't waste it. Pay attention and recognize it for what it is. I hope that you do, because I never did. Also I've never heard of anyone getting a third one. Call me if you need me."

"Wait," Soujiroh called out. He watched as Rui's back stopped in the doorway. "The pain…. Wh—when does when does it go away?"

"It doesn't." And with that he walked out the door, quietly shutting it behind him to leave Soujiroh alone with his thoughts and Rui's hard won wisdom.

***A/N I just wanted to say thanks for all the love... the goal is to publish a chapter from every Monday to every other Monday. Plus in my mind Rui and Soujiroh sitch kind of mirrors each other's in a way. ;) Let me know what you think, More love = faster chapters ;) ***


	8. A Little Bit Stronger Chapter 7

**_"A Little Bit Stronger"- Sara Evans_**

_And I'm done hoping that we can work it out,_  
_I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels_  
_Letting you drag my heart around._  
_And ohhh_  
_I'm done thinking that you could ever change._  
_I know my heart will never be the same,_  
_but I'm telling myself I'll be okay._  
_Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger._  
_Doesn't happen overnight, but you turn around and a month's gone by,_  
_And you realize you haven't cried._  
_I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer._  
_I'm busy getting stronger…_  
___

**A Little Bit Stronger**

_Yuki placed the last of her boxes against the wall of her new room. The apartment that she shared with two other girls was small, but functional. She loved that she was close to the school, but most of all in a little nook of London. After that night she had left. She wasn't able to continue with the relationship she had with Soujiroh. She needed to heal. So she did what she could and left. Putting miles and oceans between herself and the man of her dreams seemed the only sensible solution to the problem. _

_It hadn't taken long. She had contacted the school and soon after received all the information she needed. Her passport had always been up to date, she had told the dango shop owner that she couldn't no longer continue to work there (she hadn't given any details because she was never very sure how often her and Akira conversed) .All that had been left was packing and telling one person she knew wouldn't share that she was moving away to school. Makino was really the only she could trust to not spill her whereabouts. Well and one other person, but that was a secret. _

_One plane ride later and here she was. She was ready to start her new life. She was so excited about the endless possibilities that awaited her. Two days from now was the first day of school, and classes. I everything was going to be great. For one reason… No one knew she knew F4 here. No one knew that she had loved Soujiroh. Here she could pretend until she forgot. If she did her job well enough maybe she could even convince herself she was over him._

The tear rolling down her cheek woke Yuki up from her slumber. She hated that dream, memory, whatever you wanted to call it. The simple way to put it was pain. Her heart still was in pain even after all these months. When there was time to stop and breathe, it remembered. She worked hard to lock that part up so she wouldn't remember. The only problem was he still held the key. But every day she got a little bit stronger and soon she would have it back.

Yuki threw the arm over her head pushing those dreary thoughts aside. Like most universities, winter break was actually about a month from start to finish. She needed to figure what to do with all that time. At home Christmas time was more of a couple time, but thankfully not in places like this. Christmas was spending time with family, friends or both, but unfortunately Yuki had the luxury of neither. Her parents were on a cruise, and as for her friends, there were exactly two who knew where she was, and neither could come down. They had their own families and lives to attend to. So the question remained what then to do with all the time?

Luckily she still had her tea ceremony class she could go to. It was only going to be on hiatus for the week of Christmas. Yes she still took them, and lucky for her they were independent of the college. She didn't look to deep into the why, but rather convinced herself that it was because she truly enjoyed it. Of course it was only an hour long, so that left her six days and twenty two hours a week to occupy. (She gave herself an hour to be occupied with getting there, setting up, cleaning up and going home.) The question was what to do.

A light rapping at the door brought her out of her musing, "Come in."

The door creaked as it opened, "Yuki? I just wanted to say goodbye, I'll be heading back to New York. I got you a little something, it's under our tree." Krystyne said from the doorway smiling gently. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather spend a cold New York Christmas with my insane family? You're more than welcome."

Yuki looked at the petite brunette standing in her door way. She was quiet, polite, and very, very kind. She reminded her in so many ways of the best friend she had found in Makino. But there were differences. Where Makino was outspoken, Krystyne was quiet and reserved. She had the ability to make the most of any situation with a positive attitude and a genuine smile that warmed the coldest people's hearts. Far from a pushover she quietly protested what she thought was wrong and set out to make a difference. You always knew what she believed in or where you stood with her, she just had a different way of voicing her concerns in comparison to Makino.

"I'm grateful for the offer, but really I'm fine. Don't worry about me, have a great time with your family. I'll see you after the New Year. Make sure to take lots of pictures from me. I've heard New York on New Year's is beautiful."

"If by beautiful you mean insane, it's incredibly beautiful," Krystyne chuckled, "Next year then, I'm not going to give you a choice." Waving a friendly goodbye to Yuki she quietly walked out of the bedroom.

As Krystyne headed down the elevator, she wondered to herself about Yuki. It's not like she was ever cross, or sad, but that would be the point wouldn't it. She wasn't really overly much of anything. It wasn't something you could completely explain, but it was as if she was only half. She smiled and laughed, and had fun, but it never really reached her eyes, something was just beneath the surface but no one knew what. Krystyne knew something had happened to her, but Yuki refused to mention it and she had no idea how to start. But she'd come to think of Yuki as almost like a sister, feeling blessed that she was in her life so if she eventually wanted to share then she would be there to listen.

Krystyne was so lost in thought she walked out the front doors of the building and bumped into one of the handsomest men she'd seen in a long time. He was very tall with long legs and broad shoulders. She noticed that his hands were big as he placed them on her shoulders to steady her before she fell. She wanted to stop staring but somehow she couldn't force herself to look away. He was so incredibly handsome. Where had he come from?

A slow knowing smile spread across his face, making his eyes sparkle. "Are you ok?"

Krystyne heard the words and could have sworn she had answered but saw him starting to look decidedly uncomfortable. _Dammit speak! _ "OhI'. " Krystyne realized the words were flying out of her mouth at a rapid pace but she couldn't seem to stop. _Breathe _"It…it was completely my fault. Are you ok?" She had noticed that he had slowly removed his hands to place them at his side. Suddenly she wished he would put them back. _Where in the world had that thought come from? She didn't even know his name for goodness sake. _

The stranger nodded yes just as the man in taxi yelled at her. Turning she addressed the driver, "There's no need to be rude," she said to driver," obviously I was apologizing. I'm coming." She needed to go.

She turned to back to the stranger and was shocked to see a look of anger on his face. The glare he was wearing had successfully silenced the driver where her words had not. He then silently escorted her to the cab and helped her in. Closing the door she advised the driver to head to the airport. Pulling away from the curb she turned back to see him give her a small salute and continue down the street. Suddenly she felt like something phenomenal had happened but it was tinged with sadness the farther away from him they drove. She rationalized that she just must be over excited to get home. She was being ridiculous after all.

She didn't even know his name….

Yuki heard a slight wrapping at the door as she had just finished making her coffee. "Coming!" She opened the door shocked at who was standing on the other side….

"Yo." He said raising to fingers in salute.

"Rui! How did yo… Did Makino…." Yuki was in to much shock to form a coherent sentence. How had he found her? What was going on?

Rui just stayed silent shaking his head and then raising an eyebrow while staring at her.

"Oh I'm sorry! Come in please."

In usual Rui style he strolled in taking his time. He didn't say a word just silently taking in the small apartment with its understated furnishings and reproductions of famous artists on the wall. Hands in his pockets he sat down on the couch crossing his legs. Yuki slowly followed, her coffee completely forgotten. She needed answers. She needed to know that she was still ok where she was. If she wasn't, well she wasn't above running away again.

"Rui not that I'm not happy to see you, but how did you find me?"

Rui just smiled a small smile and leaned forward so his arms rested on his legs, "Well I've known where you were for awhile. It's not to hard for someone like me. I'm not going to tell anyone, unless you've changed your mind and want me to?" His eyebrow shot up as he asked her the question.

"No. Maybe later."

"Ok it's up to you Yuki-chan"

Yuki tried not to flinch as her old F4 name slid from Rui's lips, it was hard, but she managed to hide her discomfort behind a smile. "So tell me what's going on in Japan?"

"Well we're all planning a big anniversary party for Makino and her husband. Akira has started college and has decided on Psychology as a major. As for me well, I'm still weighing my options."

"Ok wait, anniversary party? It's like six months away."

"Well better to get started now."

"Ummm ok. And I can see that for Akira, he was really always the peace maker."

"True. Did you want to know about anyone else?"

Yuki lowered her eyes. Her answer should be no, but the naive girl inside of her warred with her determination to stay strong. In the end her determination won out. She hadn't tried so hard to forget just to throw herself back in now. Looking up with determination she said, "No I've heard about everyone that's important to me."

She must not have looked determined enough because Rui just smiled knowingly and said, "He misses you, you know. He searched for you. I don't know if that makes a difference."

"No no it doesn't. I really don't care. I hope that he suffers a before he forgets about me. Seriously I don't care to know anymore so please stop."

Rui held up his hands in surrender, "Ok. But let me just say this - the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. And if you don't care, then answer is that you do still care." Rui then stood up and offered his hand to Yuki. "Now let's go have some tea and you can show me how it's done here in England."

Yuki smiled as she placed her hand on his, "Sounds like a plan. Let's go." She grabbed her coat and scarf followed Rui out, leaving unanswered feelings behind a closed door. She was good at that.

_A/N: So I have the next chapter mapped out, all I can do is apologize. Somewhere along the line my muse ran away with my inspiration and went to party in Las Vegas I think. ::SIGH:: But for those of you that kept hope alive and asking me to update, thank you! Without encouragement I wouldn't have continued. ^ ^ Remember Comments = Crack. Thank you all :)_


	9. Hate You Chapter 8

**Hate you - 2NE1 (English Translation)**

My memories with you  
Consist only of memories waiting for you  
No matter how much I put up with it, and put up with it, it wouldn't end  
I-I wanted to hear those words, "I love you"  
Your unconcerned love  
I grew tired of it

Rui had left a few hours ago and Yuki was still sitting in the same spot that he left her. Her mind ran over the conversation again and again in her mind. The opposite of love is not hate. Only Rui would think of something like that. It was profound and very true. If she looked inside the secret place in her heart she knew that she still loved Soujiroh. Time couldn't change that. It wasn't the infatuation she had had with the first boyfriend, but rather one that had grown over the course of time, encompassing her whole life. But she was better now, wasn't she?

"_He misses you, you know. He searched for you. I don't know if that makes a difference."_ He had searched for her. Did it make a difference? She honestly didn't know, but it was almost a small victory that he hadn't been able to find her. It should have been an easy task for him.

She'd been gone almost a year and a half. She was a horrible friend; she hadn't even gone back for Makino's first wedding anniversary. She had given some lame excuse about having papers and finals due, when the truth was she just didn't want to run into Soujiorh.

She had chosen to stay hidden all this time but now she was done with that. She could face her past and her demons that came with it. She was going to go to Makino's next party. She may have to take back up, but she knew Krystyne would go with her with minimal questions. She had changed and she could do this.

Shoulders squaring with resolve, she got off the couch and headed to the computer to type out a long overdue email to Makino.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

6 months later….

Yuki felt the plane descend and glanced over at her sleeping friend. It had almost been two years total since she had stepped foot in Japan. Two years to put all those feelings in a nifty little box, tie a bow around it and lock it away. She could do this, she knew she could. She was strong than she looked. It was finally time to reclaim herself on her home turf. Yuki felt her mind drift to her conversation to with Rui all those months ago.

"_I don't understand Rui," she said as she set her cup on her saucer, "what do you mean that the opposite of love isn't hate? Everyone knows that hate is the exact opposite."_

"_Then everyone would be wrong." Rui said as he gently set down his cup. "It's actually very simple. See if you say 'I don't care' then you care enough not to care, so you do care. But if you can shrug it off because it doesn't make you feel one way or another, well then that would be the opposite. When you look at a person on the street, you don't love or care for them therefore you are indifferent. To think of someone in some capacity, about how they feel or don't, means that you care. Does that make sense?"_

_Yuki nodded while pondering his words in silence._

Indifference huh? She could do that…right? While most would be amazed that Rui had said so much, she knew the simple truth that he simply only added to the silence when he could add to it with something worthwhile. He was a watcher more than most seemed to notice. When choosing to offer advice it was always the best idea to pay attention and think about it.

She didn't know if she should wake Krystyne, but in the end decided that it would probably be for the best. She gently shook her, "Krystyne were here. It's time to wake up."

Slowly Krystyne's green eyes opened as she came awake. "Already?"

"You've been asleep almost the whole trip. You'll never get to sleep tonight."

"Well I have aerophobia so it's the easiest way for me to fly," Krystyne shrugged sheepishly.

"I'm just teasing. It's ok, but you better get situated we'll be pulling up to the gate soon." Yuki's body jostled as the plane landed on the tarmac. No turning back now, she was home….for now….

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Soujiroh closed his eyes has he leaned his head against the back of his desk. Tiredly he pinched the bridge of his nose, willing the dull ache behind them to leave. He was ready to leave for the day, so he started packing his papers into his briefcase. Getting up from his desk, he informed his secretary he was leaving and headed out of the office.

Work always made him feel so tired. But it was the one thing that was a constant in his life. He had replaced the endless string of women with an endless string of phone calls and deals. Stepping to his role of heir to his father's company had been one of ease for him, if not shock to the general public. He hadn't been on a date that hadn't been business related in almost two years.

Since giving up his search for Yuki, he had decided it was time to make a change in his life. Obviously the one he was leading was getting him anywhere and after seeing Domyouji take up the role, how could he not? Simply throwing himself into his work was easier than dealing with his messy personal life anyway.

Sliding into the open door he started the car. He needed to stop by Domyouji's place and ask few questions about the party, but then he would be on his way to finish up some paperwork that would carry him into the wee hours of the morning until he passed out from exhaustion.

Pulling out into traffic he made his way over to Domyouji's house.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Yuki put her suitcases in her room. Sitting down on her bed she took a look around. A maid had been in early that week and made sure the house was ready, so her room looked exactly as she had left it. Picking up the picture from Makino's wedding, ran her fingers over the happy smiling faces staring back at her. She remember taking the photo and the conversation that had taken place right after.

_{Makino's Wedding}_

"_Do you think it's possible for everyone?"Yuki looked at Soujiroh over the rim of her glass._

"_What Yuki-chan?" Soujiroh asked as he glanced in her direction._

"_Happily ever after."_

"_No….yes…." Soujiroh sighed, "I don't know Yuki-chan. Maybe? I don't really think about it."_

She should have known then, but blindly she had chosen not to heed the words. She heard them loud and clear now and that's all that mattered.

Sighing she got back up to go check on Krystyne. "You getting settled ok?"

"Yep," the pretty brunette said brightly. "Just gonna put my clothes away and maybe take a shower if that's ok?"

"Yeah that's fine. You don't mind if I leave for about an hour or so do you? I would like to tell my friend I'm back and say hello before her party in a couple of days."

"No that's fine, I'm sure I can find something that will occupy me. And if all else fails watching Japanese TV will let me know if all those hours of studying with you paid off." Krystyne laughed. She had always considered herself one of those people that would be able to understand the language, but not be able to pronounce it to save her life.

"Ok. As long as you're sure you're gonna be ok." Yuki looked at her skeptically. A part of her felt guilty but the other part of her yearned to hit the road to see Makino.

"I'll be fine go."

Yuki embraced her friend in a sincere hug, "I'm glad you came with me." She stepped back with a smile on her face. "I'll be back in no time and we'll go to dinner." Krystyne nodded her head in agreement as Yuki on her heel and headed back toward her room.

From the back of her closet she pulled out her red leather riding outfit. Slipping it on she couldn't wait to get back on her motorcycle. She hadn't told anyone that she had obtained her motorcycle license before she had left Japan, it was something she had wanted to keep private. She had really done it on a whim. Tired of waiting for Soujiroh to take her on his bike, she had opted to get her own. Maybe a small part of her wanted to impress him with it as well.

Heading towards the garage, took the cover off of her baby. Her Hayabusa sat there just as shiny and pretty as she had left it. Red and black, it was completely perfect and was so her baby. It could go up to 188/194 miles per hour and finish a quarter mile in ten seconds. Not that she'd ever taken that fast outside of the track, but it was nice to know that she could if she wanted to. There was nothing like having unleashed power at your fingertips.

Opening the garage door, she mounted the bike and started the engine. Leaning back she put on her helmet and then shot out of the garage. Heading down the street she revved her engine a little enjoying the feeling power she had. Zooming down the street she headed straight towards Makino house.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Soujiroh sighed as he hit another red light. The drive to the house was taking much longer than he had expected. Between the traffic and red lights Soujiroh was about to lose his mind. Glancing around him he saw a very nice motorcycle pulling up in his rear view mirror.

As it pulled alongside of him, he admired the sleek Hayabusa. Red and black the bike radiated speed and power. The driver was dressed to match, with a sleek black helmet to top off the look. He personally hadn't ridden his bike since Yuki had been gone. The want to do so seemingly had left when she did. Lowering his window, he addressed the rider, "Nice bike. What year is it?"

The rider looked over at him but never raised the visor of his helmet to answer. Instead he leaned on the throttle starting to reeve up the engine. Surprised and a little annoyed as the rider looked forward again, Soujiroh rolled his window back up. Usually his questions were always answered even by strangers, but this one had made it very clear that no answer was coming.

The light turned green and the bike and the rider shot forward. Soujiroh followed behind admiring the way the rider seated the bike. He handled it with ease, as if he had been born to ride. He was surprised to see that the bike seemed to be taking the same route as he was. He was even more surprised when the rider took the turn off to the private road and was allowed access. _It must be one Doumiji's friends or maybe a delivery person_.

He pulled up behind the rider in the circular drive. Shutting off the engine, he watched as the rider dismounted. What he saw next shocked the life out of him. The rider wasn't a he but rather a she. He watched fascinated as the helmet came off her head and a glorious waterfall of black silken hair streamed down her back. Placing the helmet on the bike, she turned her head to look over her shoulder at his car.

_Yuki…._


	10. Incomplete Chapter 9

_****A/N - This chapter has been slightly rewritten and some mistakes fixed- ENJOY (yes this means the next on is almost done)****  
_

_Incomplete – Backstreet Boys_

_Voices tell me I should carry on__  
__But I am swimming in an ocean all alone__  
__Baby, my baby__  
__It's written on your face__  
__You still wonder if we made a big mistake_

_I'd try to go on like I never knew you__  
__I'm awake but my world is half asleep__  
__I pray for this heart to be unbroken__  
__But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete_

A whisper fell from his lips drifting across the space between him, "Yuki…."

_Yuki... _The woman that had tortured his every waking moment, haunting him in the darkest part of sleepless nights was standing not 15 feet in front of him. _Yuki…_The name drifted across his mind freezing his body in place. He needed to do something, make a move towards her, call her name, anything. He didn't know what had brought her back, but he was sure he wasn't going to let her go again so easily.

"Yuk…" He never even got to finish her name as she turned and started toward the house. His body spurred into motion, quickly following behind her. "Yuki!"

She didn't even acknowledge that she heard him, continuing at the same pace until she reached the steps. He raced forward grabbing her arm, forcing her to look at him. He watched as she glared at the hand on her arm and then slowly up to his face with a raised eyebrow. He hadn't truly been prepared for what he saw. He had expected anger or even tears; nothing in him had been equipped for the cold disdain that was on her face. There was nothing in that look that reminded him of his old Yuki. No glimmer of the silent adoration or the girlie innocence that used to dance in her eyes. Yuki had changed. The shock was too much, reeling he dropped his hand from her arm. Without a word to him she continued up the steps, taking off her riding gloves as she went.

"Yuki!" He called again, hoping against hope that she would turn around and look at him the way she once did. He held his breath as she finally stopped turning to face him. His eyes searched her face looking for a hint of who she used to be.

"I'm sorry. Do I know you?" The barely concealed coldness colored her words as they left her lips.

Frozen silence engulfed him once again. The fact that she was so obviously treating him as a stranger rattled him to the core. Still in shock at the change all he could do was open his mouth, but no words came in answer.

He watched as her eyes raked him from head to toe as the side of her mouth lift into a smirk, "Guess not." She once again turned around, then knocked on the door and was permitted inside.

_What was going on? Had he done that to Yuki? _The hostility that had radiated from her had both floored him and broke his heart. She had always been so full of light and love. Smiling at everyone she met. She was the girl that would stop to help the old woman struggling to carry groceries or soothe a crying child until the parents came. The Yuki he had just seen didn't resemble his Yuki in any way. Was he the cause that completely changed who she was?

^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Yuki tried to slow her breathing after what had just taken place. She impatiently tapped her foot on the floor as she waited for the butler to announce her arrival. Her mind was still spinning, caught up in a the turmoil of emotions that she was unprepared for. The scene played over and over in her mind, the more she tried to shove it away, the more it replayed.

_Yuki heard her name being called but refused to turn around. She wanted nothing to do with the man that had been standing next to the car. _Just one foot in front of the other onna, one foot in front of the other._ She kept her stride even and as calm as she could. She had been stunned when she had pulled up next to Soujiroh at the stop light. Her heart had started racing, the only thought screaming through her mind was to get away. Rationally she had known they were headed to the same place, but at the same time the irrational part screamed that if she went fast enough she could beat him, avoiding him completely. _Yeah no such luck there.

_Yuki felt like the stairs had been at least five miles away from where she had parked her bike. She had just started up them when suddenly she found a hand grabbing her arm. Silently she counted to five and told her racing heart to settle down. _Indifference, the word crashed into her mind like a warning_. That's what she was shooting for, he had to think that she wasn't excited to see him and her heart wasn't beating at a hundred miles an hour. Schooling her features, she prepared herself for her newest battle._

_Masking her emotions she glanced down at the hand now holding her captive. Raising an eyebrow she looked straight Soujiroh until he released her. From the disbelief she saw in his features she had guessed she had come off a little more hostile that she had originally intended, but that was ok. If he thought she was truly furious it would make things so much easier for her in the long run._

_She felt his hand fall away. Continuing up the steps she suddenly heard her name shouted behind her. Not bothering to turn completely around, she mustered the coolest tone she could summon and asked, "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" When she was met with silence, she placed a smirk on her face full of a coldness she had to dig deep to find "Guess not." She counted it as a victory and hurried inside._ One battle down, who only knows how many more to go.

Hearing the door being closed by the butler brought her back to the present. Her eyes listened intently because she didn't want to turn around, but hearing no following footsteps, she assumed, or rather hoped, that Soujiroh had given up and left. Pushing him back to the furthest part of her mind, she followed the butler to the room where Makino was waiting for her.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Soujiroh wasn't sure how long he had stood on the steps, his mind in a state of confusion over what had just happened. He stared blankly at the door, wanting to go inside, but unable to force himself to do so. Beyond that door was Yuki. She was so close, yet now so very, very far. No, it wasn't his Yuki that lay beyond the door; it was a different Yuki, a Yuki who was a stranger to him. It seemed that more than one door stood in the way of him and the Yuki that he had dreamed of.

"Yo." Sojiroh jumped as Rui greeted him. He was standing right next to him looking completely baffled. Rui looked at him and then at the door and back to him.

"Hey."

"Are you going in or are you leaving? And why are you staring at the door?" Rui asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, uh going in. And it's nothing. No reason. Let's go." Soujiroh climbed the steps and opened the door leading the way to the study.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^

As soon as Yuki saw Makino tears formed in her eyes as she walked up to embrace her. "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I'm such a horrid friend."

"No you're not. Life changes, people change. You're here now and that's all that matters to me," Makino said as hugged Yuki reassuringly.

The two released each other, but kept their hands clasped as they headed to the smaller couch in the room to catch up.

"So….how's life? What's new? How have you been?" Makino smiled as she sat across from her longtime friend.

"Good, I guess. I mean school is school. I started modeling a tiny bit, but nothing big," Yuki shrugged. "What about you?"

"Modelling? That's huge. In what magazine? I need to buy about 20 of them. "

"A couple of photos in ViVi and a couple in Sweet. Nothing as big as your making it seem," Yuki said as she blushed at Makino's over eagerness.

"Smeh. It is a big deal. You're beautiful and it's time everyone saw it too. Especially that stupid baka that calls himself Jiroh," Makino stating as she rolled her eyes.

Soujiroh wasn't someone she wanted to talk about right now considering she had just met up with him outside and was unsure about the feelings still warring inside of her. Yuki waved her hands at her friend, "Enough of that. I don't want to discuss him or say his name. What's up with you?"

Makino gave her childhood friend a knowing look. Deciding it was best to let the subject of Soujiroh go for now, she decided she would change the subject to happier news. "Well there is this one…" Makino never got to finish as the door to the salon was thrown open and Domyoji-san strode inside.

Yuki smiled as some things she saw never changed. She averted her eyes as Domyoji-san leaned over to place a light kiss on his wife's lips. She wasn't used to this this side of them. Looking at them now you wouldn't be able to tell the turbulent time they had in finding, then losing and finding each other again. It was enough to make a disbeliever of fate, simply _believe_.

Hugging Makino close, she heard Domyoji-san ask her, "Have you told her yet?" Shaking her head no, Domyoji-san said, "Well I'll leave you to tell her, but makes sure she doesn't tell anyone else. It's still a secret." With one last squeeze, he let go and turned to Yuki. "Good to see you Yuki-chan."

Yuki fought the cringe that was inside her as she again heard the name she had left behind in Japan. Even though it was formality, it still gave her insides the twinge when she heard it. "You as well Domyoji-san." She nodded her head in a polite bow.

"Please, I think that we have known each other long enough to call each other by our first names. Tsukasa is fine."

Yuki's eyes went wide at the suggestion, "I could…"

Domyoji held his hand up to silence her, "I insist. I've been calling you Yuki-chan forever, seems only fair. But I have to go. I'll see you later Makino." Giving one last bow, Domyoji made his way gracefully to the door, quietly shutting it behind him.

Yuki turned her surprised look to Makino, "Ok who was that? And where is your husband?"

Makino giggled behind her hand. "Two years is a long time. Plus when you're about to become a father, it changes you."

"I'm sorry you're right, I've been gone so lo….wait did you say father?"

Happiness shone from Makino's eyes as she gently placed a hand over her slightly rounded stomach, nodding yes. "We're going to have a baby. Can you believe it? I'm going to be a mother."

^.^.^.^.^.^.^.^

Soujiroh sat in halfhearted interest as the others around talked about something. He didn't really know what because he wasn't' really paying them too much attention. His mind was still distracted by the person from earlier. To call her Yuki seemed almost a sacrilege, because the girl in the front of the house was nothing like Yuki. _I wonder if she's like that all the time or if I'm just the lucky one._ He knew that what had transpired between then had somehow been the catalyst to the change in Yuki.

But didn't she know how he had regretted? How his heart had yearned? How every night before he fell asleep the last face he saw was her tear streaked face. The picture of the light dying from her eyes from what would be his last broken promise haunted him into his every waking moment. He had spent so much time thinking about how he would make it up to her, how he would look at her and ask for her forgiveness. But after seeing her today all of his plans seemed to be nothing but smoke disappearing in the infinite space of time.

He was so lost in thought, he barely registered when he heart Domyoji mention her name.

"What did you say?" He asked looking at Domyoji.

"Glad you could join us. What did I say about what? Or is it who?" Domyoji asked crossing one leg over the other.

"Well whatever. What were you talking about?" Soujiroh added a little impatiently.

"I was saying," Domyoji stopped as he watched Rui get up and head toward the open door way. Craning his neck a little to the side he saw Makino and Yuki walking arm and arm towards the front hallway.

Akira following Domyoji gaze saw the women as well. A huge smile on his face, he made his way after Rui to greet them. "Makino! Yuki-chan! Wait up," He called as he made his way out the door.

Domyoji turned back to Soujiroh to finish what he had been saying, but noticed that Soujiroh had gone as stiff as a board. Following Soujiroh's intense gaze back to the doorway, he saw Yuki was smiling warmly at the two men now hugging her and giving her head an affectionate ruffle. Sighing to himself he guessed that Soujiroh had somehow met Yuki already and it hadn't gone well. He decided that if Soujiroh wanted to talk about it that he would, but for now Domyoji decided to ignore it. "So as I was saying…"

"So I guess it's just me," Soujiroh muttered to himself rather than to anyone else in the room.

"Ok so I guess the previous topic is over. Now what are you talking about? Not that I really need to ask," Domyoji said as he leaned back against the chair he was occupying.

"Yuki." Soujiroh said quietly, "I saw her earlier and she was less than polite. Almost on the verge of hostile," Soujiroh said as he continued to watch the group disappear from sight, heading towards the front door. "But she's nice to the others, I just don't get it."

Domyoji tried to hold it in, but he found it was impossible as he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, "You're joking right? You don't get it?"

Shaking his head Soujiroh looked at Domyoji as if he'd lost his mind, "I don't see what's so funny. No I don't get it. She's usually the happiest to see me. I mean I knew she was going to be mad, but I thought that I would apologize and it would be like it always was."

Finally controlling himself, Domyoji leaned forward. "Wow you're really clueless aren't you? You know when Yuki disappeared I had to physically restrain Makino? She was headed for the knife drawer muttering words like 'lecher, low life, and gigolo' and other things I've only heard us say when I thought we were alone. If you think what you did compared to anything you had done before, you're sadly mistaken my friend."

"Let's say that that's true. That it's somehow true that Yuki views it as something bigger than it was, now what do I do?"

"Let's say it's true?" Domyoji said shaking his head in disbelief at his lost friend. "Well like they say denial isn't just a river in Egypt. My only advise to you is this – dust off your knees my delusional friend, you're gonna be spending a lot of time one them." With a smirk Domyoji got up to go in search of his wife and to let Soujiroh think about what he said in silence.

^.^.^.^.^.^.^

After making the promise to go out to dinner later in the week, Yuki put on her helmet and started the engine to her bike. The sun was falling fast in the sky and she wanted to get back to Krystyne quickly._ Nothing like feeling abandoned after dark in a strange land._ Sending on last wave to Akira, Makno, Rui and Domyoji, she leaned on the throttle took off toward home. She needed time to think and some space to breathe.

While she loved all her friends, she has spotted Soujiroh staring from the study earlier as she had waited for Akira to join them. The house had suddenly become to stifling and closed in. All she could focus on was getting out. So she had walked a little more quickly than necessary to the front door, making excuses to leave along the way. None of her friends said anything, but in her heart she knew that they had suspected.

_DAMMIT!_ She was so mad at herself. Obviously she wasn't as over Soujiroh as she thought she was. But it wasn't over. She would erect a wall so high he'd never be able to breach his way into her heart again. It was a promise she made to herself. A promise that she wouldn't ever break again, no matter what took place while she was here in Japan, she couldn't afford to lose. This was only for a couple of weeks, and then she could escape again, running to England to lick her wounds and heal.

Pushing her bike to go faster she shot forward, weaving in and out of traffic. Home would have to wait and she mentally apologized to Krystyne. But she needed this, the open road, just for a bit, then she would go home and act again like everything was fine. Maybe by then she could convince herself that she was just fine too.


End file.
